What Now?

It has been quiet around here...well, downright silent.  I would like to blame it on things being too busy too write (they are), not having anything to write about (yeah right!), or downright laziness (what is that?).  Truth be told, it has been intentional on my part.

There are a lot of things I want to write about.  That being said, I have 7 children (8 when my step-daughter is with us).  I don't work outside the home for good reason and I also homeschool.  If that isn't enough, I have 2 kiddos under 2 years old.  I am downright busy.  That should be good enough reason to not get to writing all of the things I want, but for this Type A personality, it isn't.  ;)  As I think about writing, I am often convicted.  Oh, it isn't the writing itself, or even the topics I want to write about.  It is my husband-it's all his fault.  Ok, not really.  My kids are to blame, too.  And God.  What I am trying to say is this...the blog is not my priority right now.  I started this blog to chronicle my son's bleeding disorder and it kinda morphed into a blog involving my homeschooling journey, our family dynamics constantly growing and changing, my personal beliefs, the autism adventure we are trying to figure out....it has become a lot of things. What it hasn't become, what I haven't let it become, is a priority.  Every time I tried to let it, make it, become a priority, God made sure that didn't happen.  No matter how I tried, it was never on the front burner or got quickly pushed to the back burner.

So what does that mean?  Well, I know it doesn't mean I am going to stop blogging.  While I am struggling to keep up with documenting all the issues Scooter has (mainly because his issues have become so much bigger than dysfibrinogenemia), I still remember the feeling I had when he was diagnosed and NO ONE could give me any answers and the internet didn't hold much better results.  Someone will benefit from this blog, I promise you.  Along the same lines, I hope that I can somehow reach others with a child with Asperger's and they will feel less alone.  Likewise, maybe those who thought they knew what was up with their family planning will be convicted like Daddy and I were and they will stumble upon my blog and not feel like a lunatic because of what God has called them to do.  I don't know; I guess I kinda feel that way about a lot of what I write about.

I do know that I feel like this blog still has value, is still important and worth some of my time.  It does not, will not, however, define me or steal me from where I am called to be serving, which is within my family.

And so the last couple months, I have taken a hiatus.  I have taken stock and reassessed where I am with the blog, where I want to be, and whether or not the blog itself still held a place in my life.  I could use this spot to quote endless verses that would encourage you and support my decision, but that would be a little misleading,  See, this was a Me-and-God thing.  He is the one who has been dealing with me on all of this, and where He leads I will follow.

So there you have it.  It is what it is.  I promise to update on the huge changes in my life soon.  I promise to update on the children and their health soon.  I promise to let this blog be what God wants it to be in my life, and in yours, even if it means I don't post every day.  I so hope you will stick with me on the journey.

 

BIG Vision Forum Giveaway

I am stoked to see this giveaway on several of my fav-o-rite blogs.  I would be stoked to win the gift certificates, as well.  Vision Forum has a giveaway going on right now for $100, $200, and even $300 gift certificates!  I would be beyond blessed to win this, and I am certain you would, too.  There are multiple ways to enter this giveaway.  You can enter through Life In A Shoe, The Modest Mom, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Smockity Frocks, Raising Olives, or Generation Cedar. 

We get a lot of our reading material through Vision Forum.  I feel confident when I order Christian books from their site that they are tested and true to the Word of God.

With 8 children to buy for for Christmas and a resolution to purge all garbage from our home and only take in media and toys that will be uplifting and glorifying to God, these gift certificates would go a long way!  Good luck!

 

Works For Me Wednesday: How To Talk To Your Kids

Truth be told, I totally forgot to share this trick until I read this post yesterday.  If you are visiting from WFMW over at We Are That Family, forgive me for the redundancy.

One of the things I hear the most about how we manage a large family is, "How do you possibly have time for all of them?"  That is a whole separate post, but I assure you we manage.  For the time being, I'll share one of the ways we make sure we talk to all of our children on a daily basis.

This tradition actually started when the kids still attended traditional school, first out of a need to control the chaos, and eventually to be able to hear what each of them was saying and know a bit more about their individual lives.  We call it "going around the table" and it involves one question and one answer.  The first question is always, "What can you share about your day?"  This allowed us to hear what had happened to them that day that was noteworthy and that we, as parents, didn't want to miss out on.  Being that it was always a mad rush after school each day just to survive, we had very little time to catch up with the daily going-ons.

The rules are simple.  Only answer the question that was presented- no rabbit trails.  Mom and Dad create the questions (usually).  Only one person talking at a time, in order, clockwise around the table.  Whoever was the one to pray that day (that privilege rotates daily) is the first to answer the question.  Only one person talking at a time; if you interrupt, you lose your turn to answer the question.

We found that we were able to have calm dinners, which helped us to be diligent in training good manners, and and also to hear from each of the kids.  It also helped us to teach the children to be attentive and listen to others rather than be self-centered and hog the limelight.

After we learn what had happened in each child's day we may or may not ask other questions and start the process again.  They range from, "What is your favorite icecream?" to "What do you want to be when you grow up?" to "What do you think about _____?"

Now that I homeschool we don't do it every single night because I have more time with my children, to walk beside them and experience their day with them.  The questions are a little different now, too.  Now they lean more toward, "What was your favorite part about __________?" and they share about the field trip we went on or the unit we studied.  It really helps update Daddy about what we are learning in school, too.

There are definitely other ways we talk to our children....this is just one of them.  My kids have an under-my-feet style.  They are always under my feet, in my bed, on my lap, wherever I am there is guaranteed to be at least 3 of the children.  It is a proven fact.  If I sit down, someone is laying or sitting in it (even the big kids!).  If I leave a room, even discreetly and silently, in a matter of minutes the children are straggling in behind me.  I often joke about having a magnet in my butt because there is just no shaking them!  :)  And I love it.  I have no problem with them being around me all the time.  Well, until they start bickering, begging, or whining.  Then, all bets are off!  

 

Not Me Monday: T-shirts, PJ's and Photos

I did not ask my 13 year old son to get his 1 year old brother dressed (simple t-shirt and shorts) only to hear him scream, "Ack!  I need to find my babysitting book!"  I did not come into the room and see poor Scooter standing there shirtless and alone.  Upon discovering the previously mentioned teenager in his room rifling through his belongings, I did not get a completely serious explanation as to why he was getting his babysitting book.  He was not seriously going to read how to put Scooter's shirt on.  Seriously.

I did not allow Lil Momma to wear the same footie jumper for 2 days straight.  I also did not take her to a birthday party on day 3 and quickly change her clothes in the car to a fresh and clean footie jumper, simply because I would be busted by the people who had seen her the day before.  Nope.  I give my children a full scrubdown from head to toe each.and.every.night.  I did not then get vehemently defensive about whether Lil Momma had been wearing the same outfit the day prior when I misheard someone mention something (totally unrelated to cleanliness) in regard to her clean outfit.  Uh uh. 

I did not take 50 or so pictures of Lil Momma on my phone trying to capture a wide mouthed smile just because I had to share it with the Facebook world so they could see the beauty I have been blessed with.

Can you top me?  What did you not do this week?

 

How Do You Do It: Sports and Activities

I often get people asking me how we manage to get all of the children to all of the sports, music lessons, activities, etc.  It is a fair question, though, being that we have 7 children.  There are a few answers to this.

1.  We consolidate.  We pick and choose our activities based on what interests us most and then apply the practicalities.  For example, if the boys want to do Boys Scouts on Monday nights at the church and Keepers At Home in on the same night, time, and location, we see if the girls are interested in participating.  If one of the kids is playing in the Children's Ministry band and needs to be at all 3 of our church services, we may volunteer in the Children's Ministry classes for one of those services since we are up there anyway (plus, our kids love it!).

2.  We have common interests and play on that.  Snake and B love to skateboard.  They also enjoy Boy Scouts.  All the children play baseball.  We all tend to like a lot of the same things, and we choose the activities and sports we participate in based on those interests.  Baseball is a league through our church and all practices and games for all ages are on the same day and times.  That makes it optimal for a large family like ours.  The church also offers soccer in the same manner, though we have yet to participate in that league.  Does this mean that if a child has an individual interest that no one shared that they couldn't indulge because they were the only one?  Yes.  Well, no.  Kinda.  Truth be told, we haven't crossed that bridge yet.  It simply hasn't come up.  C-dub is definitely interested in things that the others aren't, like acting and art.  He has not, however, worked up the gumption to act on either skill.  He is very talented in both, but the autism rears its nasty little head every time he toys with the idea of enrolling in a program to further those skills.  Would we allow him?  Probably.  Do we indulge any and every interest in every child?  No.  Usually they, like most children, lose interest quickly.  The things they do hold on to are things that someone else (or several someone else's) in the family takes an interest in.  It all works out in the end, and they learn at the same time that they don't get everything they want every time they want it. 

3.  We cheat.  We have a homeschool co-op on Fridays that offers a HUGE variety of classes that double as specials.  It was at co-op that Snake learned how to really play the guitar.  It was where Snake and B learned to skateboard and get skateboarding time in (our church has a skatepark on-site).  It was where C-dub learned his love of acting.  The classes are all over the board so there is really a vast selection of things to dabble in.  See what we do?  We get socialization and extracurriculars done at the same time.  Us homeschoolers can multi-task!

3.  We discriminate.  We are very picky about who our children are surrounded by, even within the church body.  We want the people who regularly spend time with our kids and influence them to have the same morals, goals, and values as we do.  Our morals, goals, and values are set by the Good Book, so they are pretty high.  We don't pretend to be perfect, but we do strive daily to get as close to Christ-like as we can, which is what we are called to do.  We want those who are around our children to be truly striving for the same things, and we want it to show in everything they do.  Because of this, we sometimes turn down opportunities for the simple fact that we are not satisfied with the company the children would be in.  I am not being judgmental, just selective per I Corinthians 15:33 "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'"  We also rarely (if ever) are absent of the vicinity that our children are in.  e.g.  if they are playing baseball, we are at the ballfield; if they are at co-op, I am at the church as well.

4.  We don't.  Sometimes, we just don't.  Sometimes we simply say no.  We have just recently trimmed back a few of our activities because Daddy felt we were running too much and it was taking its toll.  The activities were valid and beneficial ones.  However, Daddy decided that we were looking too much outside of our home when there needed to be downtime and investment made within the home and family.  So we took a look at what could be cut, what was important enough to us to keep, and what we could live without.  There is a reason that there is the saying "Less is more".

 

Woohoo For Vitamin Deficiency!

The last time I updated on C-dub things were not well.  Although I didn't get into it extensively at that time, we were really struggling with some very serious issues, including rage in a way we had never seen and that was downright terrifying.  We had started seeing a new medications doctor, which wasn't surprising because the group our insurance covers has an incredibly high turnover rate.  She ordered his Vitamin B and D levels back in September and slightly adjusted some of his medication. 

Now it is important to note that we have never had C-dub's depression under control.  The meds have barely kept him off the border of non-functional due to depression, but all in all I have never been happy.  We did see some improvement in the rage department after the meds change, but the depression issue still lingered constantly.

So yesterday C-dub had an appointment for a meds checkup and I was dead set on insisting that something change.  Every single doctor and therapist he sees comments on how his depression is clearly not under control, but no one is willing to do anything helpful.  Until now.  Can I just say that I nearly jumped across the desk and hugged this doctor?!  I was actually clapping my hands like a two year old!  I must have looked the fool, but definitely couldn't have cared less.  Turns out that the blood work she ordered in September revealed a significant Vitamin D deficiency.  What are the symptoms of a Vitamin D deficiency, you ask?  One of them is depression!  I never thought I would be downright thrilled to hear that my child had a Vitamin deficiency!

So what now?  C-dub will now be taking 2000 I.U. a day of Vitamin D3 for the next month and we will retest his levels and evaluate the depression.  The doctor said she has seen it take up to 6 months to get deficient levels back up to normal levels, so this may be a long journey.  She also revealed that she tends to try to err on the side of natural medicine if possible, but recognizes the need for synthetic medication in some cases.  Hallelujah!  We think alike and I am confident that this is all an answer to diligent prayer in this matter.

What is downright awesome, the cherry on top so to speak, is that I had to run into the grocery store for a couple things on the way home and I had an encounter with God.  I was wondering how we were going to afford "Vitamin D3 chewable supplements" at such a high dose for the next 1-6 months, but I wasn't sweating it too bad.  We are super tight financially right now, so it was simply going to have to be a dependence-on-God kinda thing.  Whatever, I am totally cool with that.  As I grabbed my cream cheese and turned to walk to the register, what should I find blocking my way but the clearance carousel.  And what should be sitting at eye level on that clearance carousel but the exact Vitamin D chewable supplement that we need with enough pills for about 4 months!  I mean, is God incredible or what?!?!  I just chuckled, said, "Alright, God.  I hear ya," and snagged the bottles as I headed to check out.

Now it is a wait and see game.  But I know my God is faithful, so I ain't worried, see?  ;)

 

Works For Me Wednseday: Cups-A-Million

Something that was driving me crazy with having a large family was the amount of cups my children would blow through each day.  If they couldn't find their cup, they would get a  new one.  If they drank milk, they would throw their cup in the sink and get a new one later for water.  They had not a care in the world about how many cups they used since they didn't wash them (they were too young for the dishes chore at that time) and only worried about it when they had blown through all the (40) cups we owned!  Finally I had enough and I was determined to find a system that worked for me (and my sanity!).  What I came up with is a color system.  Each of the children has a cup that is a different color than all the rest, and their name on the side with a Sharpie marker.  I labeled them with their names and they were responsible for their cup.  No one can use anyone else's cup, and there is no back-up cup.  If their cup is dirty, they can opt to put it in the dishwasher and wait until it is ran next (with no drink until then) or they can wash it themselves by hand.  It has worked beautifully!  From time to time the names wear off from the dishwasher, and we either relabel them or just leave them as is.  The labels are more for my benefit at this point, as all the kids know which cup belongs to who now.  All the cups are kept in front of the toaster oven on the counter.  If I find a cup elsewhere, I assume it is dirty and toss it in the sink.  Not wanting to unnecessarily wash their cup by hand because it was thrown in the sink motivates them to keep the cups where they belong!  Notice that the picture only shows 5 cups....that is because we only have 5 children who drink from these types of cup and are old enough to use this system.  We do have a 6th colored cup for when KRose is visiting, and Scooter has a sippy cup that is regularly lost and found throughout the day. 

So anyone have any suggestions with cups that work for them???