Yes, They Are All Mine!!!

What Now?

2012-01-02T22:07:00.000-05:00

It has been quiet around here...well, downright silent. I would like to blame it on things being too busy too write (they are), not having anything to write about (yeah right!), or downright laziness (what is that?). Truth be told, it has been intentional on my part.

There are a lot of things I want to write about. That being said, I have 7 children (8 when my step-daughter is with us). I don't work outside the home for good reason and I also homeschool. If that isn't enough, I have 2 kiddos under 2 years old. I am downright busy. That should be good enough reason to not get to writing all of the things I want, but for this Type A personality, it isn't. ;) As I think about writing, I am often convicted. Oh, it isn't the writing itself, or even the topics I want to write about. It is my husband-it's all his fault. Ok, not really. My kids are to blame, too. And God. What I am trying to say is this...the blog is not my priority right now. I started this blog to chronicle my son's bleeding disorder and it kinda morphed into a blog involving my homeschooling journey, our family dynamics constantly growing and changing, my personal beliefs, the autism adventure we are trying to figure out....it has become a lot of things. What it hasn't become, what I haven't let it become, is a priority. Every time I tried to let it, make it, become a priority, God made sure that didn't happen. No matter how I tried, it was never on the front burner or got quickly pushed to the back burner.

So what does that mean? Well, I know it doesn't mean I am going to stop blogging. While I am struggling to keep up with documenting all the issues Scooter has (mainly because his issues have become so much bigger than dysfibrinogenemia), I still remember the feeling I had when he was diagnosed and NO ONE could give me any answers and the internet didn't hold much better results. Someone will benefit from this blog, I promise you. Along the same lines, I hope that I can somehow reach others with a child with Asperger's and they will feel less alone. Likewise, maybe those who thought they knew what was up with their family planning will be convicted like Daddy and I were and they will stumble upon my blog and not feel like a lunatic because of what God has called them to do. I don't know; I guess I kinda feel that way about a lot of what I write about.

I do know that I feel like this blog still has value, is still important and worth some of my time. It does not, will not, however, define me or steal me from where I am called to be serving, which is within my family.

And so the last couple months, I have taken a hiatus. I have taken stock and reassessed where I am with the blog, where I want to be, and whether or not the blog itself still held a place in my life. I could use this spot to quote endless verses that would encourage you and support my decision, but that would be a little misleading, See, this was a Me-and-God thing. He is the one who has been dealing with me on all of this, and where He leads I will follow.

So there you have it. It is what it is. I promise to update on the huge changes in my life soon. I promise to update on the children and their health soon. I promise to let this blog be what God wants it to be in my life, and in yours, even if it means I don't post every day. I so hope you will stick with me on the journey.

BIG Vision Forum Giveaway

2011-12-01T22:21:00.001-05:00

I am stoked to see this giveaway on several of my fav-o-rite blogs. I would be stoked to win the gift certificates, as well. Vision Forum has a giveaway going on right now for $100, $200, and even $300 gift certificates! I would be beyond blessed to win this, and I am certain you would, too. There are multiple ways to enter this giveaway. You can enter through Life In A Shoe, The Modest Mom, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Smockity Frocks, Raising Olives, or Generation Cedar.

We get a lot of our reading material through Vision Forum. I feel confident when I order Christian books from their site that they are tested and true to the Word of God.

With 8 children to buy for for Christmas and a resolution to purge all garbage from our home and only take in media and toys that will be uplifting and glorifying to God, these gift certificates would go a long way! Good luck!

Works For Me Wednesday: How To Talk To Your Kids

2011-11-16T12:26:00.000-05:00

Truth be told, I totally forgot to share this trick until I read this post yesterday. If you are visiting from WFMW over at We Are That Family, forgive me for the redundancy.

One of the things I hear the most about how we manage a large family is, "How do you possibly have time for all of them?" That is a whole separate post, but I assure you we manage. For the time being, I'll share one of the ways we make sure we talk to all of our children on a daily basis.

This tradition actually started when the kids still attended traditional school, first out of a need to control the chaos, and eventually to be able to hear what each of them was saying and know a bit more about their individual lives. We call it "going around the table" and it involves one question and one answer. The first question is always, "What can you share about your day?" This allowed us to hear what had happened to them that day that was noteworthy and that we, as parents, didn't want to miss out on. Being that it was always a mad rush after school each day just to survive, we had very little time to catch up with the daily going-ons.

The rules are simple. Only answer the question that was presented- no rabbit trails. Mom and Dad create the questions (usually). Only one person talking at a time, in order, clockwise around the table. Whoever was the one to pray that day (that privilege rotates daily) is the first to answer the question. Only one person talking at a time; if you interrupt, you lose your turn to answer the question.

We found that we were able to have calm dinners, which helped us to be diligent in training good manners, and and also to hear from each of the kids. It also helped us to teach the children to be attentive and listen to others rather than be self-centered and hog the limelight.

After we learn what had happened in each child's day we may or may not ask other questions and start the process again. They range from, "What is your favorite icecream?" to "What do you want to be when you grow up?" to "What do you think about _____?"

Now that I homeschool we don't do it every single night because I have more time with my children, to walk beside them and experience their day with them. The questions are a little different now, too. Now they lean more toward, "What was your favorite part about __________?" and they share about the field trip we went on or the unit we studied. It really helps update Daddy about what we are learning in school, too.

There are definitely other ways we talk to our children....this is just one of them. My kids have an under-my-feet style. They are always under my feet, in my bed, on my lap, wherever I am there is guaranteed to be at least 3 of the children. It is a proven fact. If I sit down, someone is laying or sitting in it (even the big kids!). If I leave a room, even discreetly and silently, in a matter of minutes the children are straggling in behind me. I often joke about having a magnet in my butt because there is just no shaking them! :) And I love it. I have no problem with them being around me all the time. Well, until they start bickering, begging, or whining. Then, all bets are off!

Not Me Monday: T-shirts, PJ's and Photos

2011-11-14T15:45:00.002-05:00

I did not ask my 13 year old son to get his 1 year old brother dressed (simple t-shirt and shorts) only to hear him scream, "Ack! I need to find my babysitting book!" I did not come into the room and see poor Scooter standing there shirtless and alone. Upon discovering the previously mentioned teenager in his room rifling through his belongings, I did not get a completely serious explanation as to why he was getting his babysitting book. He was not seriously going to read how to put Scooter's shirt on. Seriously.

I did not allow Lil Momma to wear the same footie jumper for 2 days straight. I also did not take her to a birthday party on day 3 and quickly change her clothes in the car to a fresh and clean footie jumper, simply because I would be busted by the people who had seen her the day before. Nope. I give my children a full scrubdown from head to toe each.and.every.night. I did not then get vehemently defensive about whether Lil Momma had been wearing the same outfit the day prior when I misheard someone mention something (totally unrelated to cleanliness) in regard to her clean outfit. Uh uh.

I did not take 50 or so pictures of Lil Momma on my phone trying to capture a wide mouthed smile just because I had to share it with the Facebook world so they could see the beauty I have been blessed with.

Can you top me? What did you not do this week?

How Do You Do It: Sports and Activities

2011-11-12T09:53:00.000-05:00

I often get people asking me how we manage to get all of the children to all of the sports, music lessons, activities, etc. It is a fair question, though, being that we have 7 children. There are a few answers to this.

1. We consolidate. We pick and choose our activities based on what interests us most and then apply the practicalities. For example, if the boys want to do Boys Scouts on Monday nights at the church and Keepers At Home in on the same night, time, and location, we see if the girls are interested in participating. If one of the kids is playing in the Children's Ministry band and needs to be at all 3 of our church services, we may volunteer in the Children's Ministry classes for one of those services since we are up there anyway (plus, our kids love it!).

2. We have common interests and play on that. Snake and B love to skateboard. They also enjoy Boy Scouts. All the children play baseball. We all tend to like a lot of the same things, and we choose the activities and sports we participate in based on those interests. Baseball is a league through our church and all practices and games for all ages are on the same day and times. That makes it optimal for a large family like ours. The church also offers soccer in the same manner, though we have yet to participate in that league. Does this mean that if a child has an individual interest that no one shared that they couldn't indulge because they were the only one? Yes. Well, no. Kinda. Truth be told, we haven't crossed that bridge yet. It simply hasn't come up. C-dub is definitely interested in things that the others aren't, like acting and art. He has not, however, worked up the gumption to act on either skill. He is very talented in both, but the autism rears its nasty little head every time he toys with the idea of enrolling in a program to further those skills. Would we allow him? Probably. Do we indulge any and every interest in every child? No. Usually they, like most children, lose interest quickly. The things they do hold on to are things that someone else (or several someone else's) in the family takes an interest in. It all works out in the end, and they learn at the same time that they don't get everything they want every time they want it.

3. We cheat. We have a homeschool co-op on Fridays that offers a HUGE variety of classes that double as specials. It was at co-op that Snake learned how to really play the guitar. It was where Snake and B learned to skateboard and get skateboarding time in (our church has a skatepark on-site). It was where C-dub learned his love of acting. The classes are all over the board so there is really a vast selection of things to dabble in. See what we do? We get socialization and extracurriculars done at the same time. Us homeschoolers can multi-task!

3. We discriminate. We are very picky about who our children are surrounded by, even within the church body. We want the people who regularly spend time with our kids and influence them to have the same morals, goals, and values as we do. Our morals, goals, and values are set by the Good Book, so they are pretty high. We don't pretend to be perfect, but we do strive daily to get as close to Christ-like as we can, which is what we are called to do. We want those who are around our children to be truly striving for the same things, and we want it to show in everything they do. Because of this, we sometimes turn down opportunities for the simple fact that we are not satisfied with the company the children would be in. I am not being judgmental, just selective per I Corinthians 15:33 "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'" We also rarely (if ever) are absent of the vicinity that our children are in. e.g. if they are playing baseball, we are at the ballfield; if they are at co-op, I am at the church as well.

4. We don't. Sometimes, we just don't. Sometimes we simply say no. We have just recently trimmed back a few of our activities because Daddy felt we were running too much and it was taking its toll. The activities were valid and beneficial ones. However, Daddy decided that we were looking too much outside of our home when there needed to be downtime and investment made within the home and family. So we took a look at what could be cut, what was important enough to us to keep, and what we could live without. There is a reason that there is the saying "Less is more".

Woohoo For Vitamin Deficiency!

2011-11-10T14:54:00.001-05:00

The last time I updated on C-dub things were not well. Although I didn't get into it extensively at that time, we were really struggling with some very serious issues, including rage in a way we had never seen and that was downright terrifying. We had started seeing a new medications doctor, which wasn't surprising because the group our insurance covers has an incredibly high turnover rate. She ordered his Vitamin B and D levels back in September and slightly adjusted some of his medication.

Now it is important to note that we have never had C-dub's depression under control. The meds have barely kept him off the border of non-functional due to depression, but all in all I have never been happy. We did see some improvement in the rage department after the meds change, but the depression issue still lingered constantly.

So yesterday C-dub had an appointment for a meds checkup and I was dead set on insisting that something change. Every single doctor and therapist he sees comments on how his depression is clearly not under control, but no one is willing to do anything helpful. Until now. Can I just say that I nearly jumped across the desk and hugged this doctor?! I was actually clapping my hands like a two year old! I must have looked the fool, but definitely couldn't have cared less. Turns out that the blood work she ordered in September revealed a significant Vitamin D deficiency. What are the symptoms of a Vitamin D deficiency, you ask? One of them is depression! I never thought I would be downright thrilled to hear that my child had a Vitamin deficiency!

So what now? C-dub will now be taking 2000 I.U. a day of Vitamin D3 for the next month and we will retest his levels and evaluate the depression. The doctor said she has seen it take up to 6 months to get deficient levels back up to normal levels, so this may be a long journey. She also revealed that she tends to try to err on the side of natural medicine if possible, but recognizes the need for synthetic medication in some cases. Hallelujah! We think alike and I am confident that this is all an answer to diligent prayer in this matter.

What is downright awesome, the cherry on top so to speak, is that I had to run into the grocery store for a couple things on the way home and I had an encounter with God. I was wondering how we were going to afford "Vitamin D3 chewable supplements" at such a high dose for the next 1-6 months, but I wasn't sweating it too bad. We are super tight financially right now, so it was simply going to have to be a dependence-on-God kinda thing. Whatever, I am totally cool with that. As I grabbed my cream cheese and turned to walk to the register, what should I find blocking my way but the clearance carousel. And what should be sitting at eye level on that clearance carousel but the exact Vitamin D chewable supplement that we need with enough pills for about 4 months! I mean, is God incredible or what?!?! I just chuckled, said, "Alright, God. I hear ya," and snagged the bottles as I headed to check out.

Now it is a wait and see game. But I know my God is faithful, so I ain't worried, see? ;)

Works For Me Wednseday: Cups-A-Million

2011-11-09T14:47:00.000-05:00

Something that was driving me crazy with having a large family was the amount of cups my children would blow through each day. If they couldn't find their cup, they would get a new one. If they drank milk, they would throw their cup in the sink and get a new one later for water. They had not a care in the world about how many cups they used since they didn't wash them (they were too young for the dishes chore at that time) and only worried about it when they had blown through all the (40) cups we owned! Finally I had enough and I was determined to find a system that worked for me (and my sanity!). What I came up with is a color system. Each of the children has a cup that is a different color than all the rest, and their name on the side with a Sharpie marker. I labeled them with their names and they were responsible for their cup. No one can use anyone else's cup, and there is no back-up cup. If their cup is dirty, they can opt to put it in the dishwasher and wait until it is ran next (with no drink until then) or they can wash it themselves by hand. It has worked beautifully! From time to time the names wear off from the dishwasher, and we either relabel them or just leave them as is. The labels are more for my benefit at this point, as all the kids know which cup belongs to who now. All the cups are kept in front of the toaster oven on the counter. If I find a cup elsewhere, I assume it is dirty and toss it in the sink. Not wanting to unnecessarily wash their cup by hand because it was thrown in the sink motivates them to keep the cups where they belong! Notice that the picture only shows 5 cups....that is because we only have 5 children who drink from these types of cup and are old enough to use this system. We do have a 6th colored cup for when KRose is visiting, and Scooter has a sippy cup that is regularly lost and found throughout the day.

So anyone have any suggestions with cups that work for them???

Not Me Monday: Cheese, Carrots, and Onions

2011-11-07T11:31:00.001-05:00

I did not buy a ton of onions that were dirt cheap (get it? onions are grown in dirt! SNORT!) with the intention of freezing them before I researched whether they could even be frozen. I did not later read that it is better to just hang the onions for up to 6 months in a dark place, that onions did not freeze well, and that they stunk up your freezer. I definitely did not do the research after I had already chopped and froze a gallon-sized freezer bag of onions.

I was cutting carrots this weekend to freeze and carrot medallions were flying left and right, including on the floor. I did not allow Scooter (and any other child who happened by) to pick up said medallions and eat them as they fell to the floor. I certainly did not encourage it, and our kitchen floor was definitely not in sore need of a mopping. :/

When Scooter came up to me while I was cutting the carrots, I did not respond to his grunting and pulling on my clothes with, "Not now buddy, Mommy is doing karate." Say what?!?! That would be absurd, downright insane! Nope, not me. I always have it together.

I did not try to squeeze a shopping trip to three different stores in between nursing sessions for Lil Momma. I was not running like a maniac from store to store in the hopes that I would make it home before she needed to eat next and thus avoid Daddy having to defrost my precious limited frozen supply of milk. When I discovered at Sam's Club that my 5 lb. bag of cheese had a big split down the side, I did not run (literally)-while holding the waist of my pants to keep them on-through the store to get another one before it was my turn in the checkout line. I did not look up from the cooler to see one of my dear friends standing there, and I did not respond to her smiling face with, "Oh, hi. And Bye," before running off without explanation. Uh uh, that would be rude.

Anything to share about what you didn't do this week? Come on, it feels good to share!!! ;)

Are You Hooked Yet?

2011-10-28T14:44:00.000-04:00

I am always looking for ideas that will make life run smoother with many young children running around under my feet. Anything that can shave even a couple minutes off of work time is much appreciated. Which may partially explain my recent addiction to Pinterest.

That is where I found this ingenious link that will hopefully help me keep my linens in order. They usually look something like this:

You didn't think I was going to actually show you a picture of my disgraceful linen closet, now did you? I am all about being transparent for the greater good, but I have my limits!

Ooooh, and this easy idea will definitely be something I will be trying in the near future.

I love this simple (and frugal!) creation that I may be able to use for a central homeschool island/table rather than for sewing. Hmmmm.....

What about you? What have you found on Pinterest? Any ideas for busy families that you haven't shared through Pinterest?

Thank God I'm Not Alone!

2011-10-27T09:34:00.025-04:00

Recently one of my friends shared this story with me on Facebook. With a title like "Why I Never Should Have Had Eight Children" and knowing this friend like I do, I knew it had to be a good read. Well, you already know that. What's that? You haven't read it? Well, go on and get a glimpse at it. No worries, I'll wait.

See, I told you it would be good. And I assure you, I doubt I could have said it better myself! Still, it felt so good to read it from someone else's lips, someone who is just.like.me.

I get the same things she quoted. A lot. People are always saying, "I don't know how you do it!" and my standard reply is, "One day at a time and with a lot of God's grace!" Truth be told, us mothers to many are just like the next guy. There isn't some secret weapon we have that you don't. We get impatient and frustrated and downright angry with our children at times. We have to fight to get out of bed in the morning and drag ourselves into bed at night. We deal with rebellious children, despite the fact that they always look so well behaved in public. We learn by making mistakes and lean on others (yes, even mothers of smaller families!) to give us advice and support. We want to walk out the door and keep on walking on those days where the kids are puking, the washing machine flooded the laundry room floor and no longer runs, the hubby is out of town with your only vehicle, and you're out of diapers. Oh yeah, I've been there, too.

When I read this blog post, I felt like this mother had been writing the list of deficiencies about me specifically. I mean, there isn't anyone out there that could be so similar, could there?!?! And I think that is one of the places that society has failed us the most. We believe the lie. Women are led to think that we have to have the perfect home, the perfect marriage, perfectly behaved children, and climb the corporate ladder all at the same time. It has only become clear to me in the last few years what it is that God wants from women, and it usually looks nothing like what the world would like us to believe. Which reminds me....

Did I ever mention that growing up and through high school I didn't want to have children? You heard me right, I didn't want even one child much less seven. I was not raised with a solid example of what biblical (or even stable) parenting should be. My mom rarely cooked and what she did cook was the most basic, from the box type of cooking that you could get. Even that wasn't taught to me. Discipline was a fickle thing, with one behavior being permissible one day and the next day the same action was followed by extreme consequences. I was taught basic cleaning and house maintenance, but beyond that there wasn't much instruction. I was raised to play to my natural strengths, which happened to be my intelligence and ability to lead. I was strongly encouraged to pursue college, get a high-paying job, and be everything my mom wanted to be but didn't have the gusto, determination, heart-whatever to achieve.

God has brought me a long way since then, but I still have a looooong way to go. None of us achieves perfection. Ever. We all have weaknesses and imperfections, and I assure you that if you don't see those faults in a woman on the surface then there are probably even bigger faults than you realize behind closed doors. As I talk to women from day to day and answer the same questions time and again, I see that we are all the same. Whether you have one child or ten, we all are on level playing ground. We are all just mothers, striving to raise our children to be they best they can be and everything God intended them to be. None of us know "the right way" to parent, the way to guarantee that our children will succeed in what is important in life. And honestly, there is no guarantee. All we can do is "bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" and allow God to do the rest. We have to trust that God will equip us with what we need to know and remember that He wouldn't call us to motherhood and then leave us hanging.

I am so grateful that my sweet friend shared this blog post with me. I needed a reminder that I am not the exception to the rule. :)

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-26T20:17:00.001-04:00

Not Me Monday: Socks, Princesses, and Plumber's Crack?

2011-10-24T21:50:00.001-04:00

Not Me Monday: where I give you a little peek into how not perfect we really are by denying it all!

I did not dress my helpless newborn babe in mismatched socks because I couldn't find two that actually matched, and I was not completely content allowing her to look ridiculous. My children are always polished, clean, and well-put-together. I did not add insult to injury by leaving the house with her looking a fool. Uh uh, not me.

I did not allow my children to dress my toddler boy in princess clothes, and if I had done such I thing I definitely would not have laughed at the spectacle. Furthermore, I would not have laughed til there were tears in my eyes while he smiled and danced around flaunting what his momma gave him.

I did not catch this same toddler running amok through the house like this on so many different occasions that I lost count:

I did not buckle under the pressure from my kids to pose the baby with our recent shipment of vanilla beans and I most certainly did not agree to taking a picture of her rather than try to fight with 5 insistent children.

Anyone out there brave enough to share what they didn't do this week???? I dare ya!

Works For Me Wednesday: Toothbrushes

2011-10-19T15:31:00.001-04:00

With a family of our size, it has been an ongoing problem for us to figure out how to store all of our toothbrushes. We have two bathrooms, one for the kids and one for the parents. If you have kids you can understand our reasoning on that. ;) In the bathroom for the kids, we have 6 toothbrushes to store (Lil Momma isn't using one yet, obviously), and everything we have tried has been unsuccessful. We have tried toothbrush holders that sit on the counter, but the only ones we could find held 5 toothbrushes max. We tried lining them up in the cabinet standing straight up....that was a joke and a half. We tried a regular drinking cup (which has been our method for a while simply because nothing else was working) but it was gross to have the toothbrushes touching and funky stuff collected at the bottom of the cup. Then we found the perfect solution. These:

I found them here through Amazon.com and I can honestly say I am completely satisfied. I would recommend, however, making sure that the area you attach it to is very clean and dry. Otherwise the adhesive will not bond properly. Also, wait the 24 hours before hanging the toothbrushes, like it recommends. My kiddies were so excited to use this that they didn't wait the first time around and it did fall off. Otherwise, worth every penny and then some!

So Did You Figure It Out?

2011-10-17T20:35:00.000-04:00

Did you guess what I was so excited about? It is this:

I am stoked about vanilla beans! And where does the vodka come in, you ask? Well, apparently the way to make vanilla extract is to soak vanilla beans in vodka for two months. I have been looking diligently for the past month to come up with the perfect do-it-yourself Christmas gifts and this is going to be one of them. The bottle of vodka should run less than $20 (I have heard that the quality of the vodka does matter and I have heard that it doesn't matter...I am going to shoot somewhere in between and hope for the best!) and the vanilla beans were $21 for 1/2 pound shipped and I got these for free:

I will let you know how it turns out! Oh, and now everyone knows what they will be getting for Christmas!

2011-10-14T20:31:00.000-04:00

Does this help?

Can You Guess What Came In The Mail Today???

2011-10-14T19:58:00.000-04:00

Here's a hint: now all I need is a big ol' bottle of vodka!!!

I Have A Really Good Excuse, Promise!

2011-10-13T13:52:00.001-04:00

I keep saying that I am going to get back into the swing of things and with that I will blog more. And then I make a liar of myself.

It isn't that I don't want to. Really, I do. I want nothing more than to purge what is in my head onto paper, er, the computer and hope that you are reading and interested vs. thinking me a total lunatic. I just can't seem to find the time! That sounds a little silly considering I have 7 children. I mean, of course I don't have the time. But I was able to blog with 6 kids so what happened?

Well, you see this gorgeous little nugget named Adeline joined our crew and it all went downhill from there....in the blogging sense, I mean. Actually, in the any-free-time-for-mom-at-all sense. These 2 month olds are needy, yo! I used to blog in the evening, after all the chittlins were in bed and Daddy had gotten the attention he craved from me (seems he actually likes me and wants to talk to me!). Now my evenings are consumed with a baby who is, ahem, wanting her momma. It took everything I had to not write colicky, but I simply don't know that for a fact. She does seem to display some of the symptoms though and I will be asking her doctor on Monday. Truth be told, it would feel so much easier to tolerate the long nights and pacing and butt patting if I could blame it on something, thankyouverymuch.

Anyway, I do have a slew of posts half written and ideas to write about. I simply haven't the time. Lil Momma finally retires somewhere between 11pm and 1 am and as soon as I sit back on my pillow for even a second, I am snoring and drooling on myself. Just kidding about the snoring and drooling. Or maybe I'm not.

Point being, I am trying (see, I am posting now!) and I hope you will bear with me for this brief (Lord willing!) season of our life. Family comes first, which I am sure you all understand, and I absolutely promise to try to post more often. After all, I am certain you are just sitting around lamenting that you have nothing to do but twiddle your thumbs in between my posts. ;)

Domestic Diva At Last???

2011-10-07T00:01:00.000-04:00

Ok, not so much. But still, I do feel the tides of change rolling through. I mean, I was 18 when my first baby came around, ahem, 13 years ago and I can easily say that there is a lot I do different now with Lil Momma than I did then with C-dub.

Anyway, in the past couple of years there have been some huge changes to what I have learned to do in the house and how I do it. I mean, I have learned how to cook (I mean, really cook and not just for basic survival), make and can salsa (thanks Betty!), bake my own bread, use herbs and other natural remedies (when reasonable), how to babywear and enjoy it (no, I did not wear the first 5 of my babies!), sew (well, expanded my still limited abilities), began homeschooling 5 children (all at the same time!), taught a kindergarten co-op class (that one still amazes me!), successfully planted and grown a spring garden (ok, Daddy did most of the work), raised baby chicks, built a chicken coop (ok, all credit goes to Daddy on that one!)....there really is a long list of things that I could rattle off!

Oh, and in the past few weeks I discovered Pinterest which has simply been amazing in guiding my efforts to be more like the Proverbs 31 woman I strive to be. Enough with that little rabbit trail...

So what do I have to say for myself? Why the sudden change of heart? Why have I stopped fighting for dominance in my home and yearning for a career outside motherhood? Why have I abandoned everything I stood for and embraced the lifestyle that is the polar opposite of who I was, who I have fought to be? Why have I (and my family) made radical changes in our lifestyle, our priorities, what we value? Who have I become?

I want to say it was an epiphany and explain it in some awesome story that makes you ooh and aah. Truth be told, though, I don't get it myself. At least not entirely. I do know that these things are a calling, that God has beckoned me and I have answered. I also know that these changes are genuine. I am not doing anything because it is a fad or because I am trying to be someone I am not.

What I am also sure of is that I am not alone. I have friends who are being led to the same calling in the same manner. I am talking about friends throughout the entire country, some that I have met virtually and some I have met face-to-face. I see on Facebook or hear in emails or read on their blogs that they are taking the same journey that we are, raising chickens, growing gardens, leaving God to be the one to open and close the womb. These people are not the type to do these things! Seriously. They were much like I- independent, strong-willed, modern. Besides, how would they know exactly what I was doing before I had even shared with anyone? The parallels are stunning, downright freaky sometimes!

And then it hit me. While I don't have all the answers, one thing has become glaringly obvious to me. Something is happening. These people are following their own convictions, just as we are, and are being faithful to Him who has called us to do these things so outside of our comfort zone. What is the plan? Are there big things brewing on the horizon that would require self-sufficiency of God's people? Are we all just freaked out by where the world is headed and want to roll back the hands of time? Does it mean nothing at all and is it all a flukey coincidence?

We can speculate and debate the matter all day long, but I am convinced that it is a rather simplistic explanation. There is an uprising, a calling of God's people, and His children are answering. For what has yet to be revealed, but I am electric with anticipation of what is is and humble to be a part of it. :)

And The Results Are In......

2011-09-21T22:34:00.000-04:00

So the children were due for their annual homeschool evaluations August 16th, but seeing as I had a baby August 17th, the school board was more than happy to extend my deadline. :) We actually live in a very homeschool-friendly state and county, so it was really no big deal to ask for an extra bit of time.

Anywho, I was creeping up on the extension deadline (procrastinator? who me?) and figured it was time to get my hiney in gear. Luckily, our evaluator was of the same mind as I was and asked if I wanted to do all 4 evaluations in one day (C-dub was tested in February). I jumped on that really quick! I was ~~worried~~ ~~stressed~~ slightly concerned about where the children would test since we had just had a baby and were out of practice with any schooling at all for a good 2 months. It definitely wasn't the circumstances I had planned on testing under, but I figured it was better to rip off the band-aid and pay the piper, so to speak. I scheduled the evaluations and prayed hard leading up to the testing and in the car on the way there. Then I let go and let God.

The evaluator informed me that since we had a kindergartener and 1st grader testing, they shouldn't take very long at all and the other 2 boys would likely average 45-60 minutes each. The test is designed to where you continue until you do not know any more of the answers; therefore, the younger they are the less the amount of questions you can answer. Well, in theory....

Smash (testing for kindergarten) went first and took nearly an hour! Rather than only being able to answer on a kindergarten level, she kept going, and going, and....well, you get the point. She tested at a mid-second grader level or higher on all subjects, with her reading recognition level at a mid-fifth grade level! Reading is definitely her love and comes naturally to her. ;) Percentile-wise she was at >99 and tested in the "exceptional intelligence" range.

LiviLou (testing for 1st grade) went next and was determined to finish the test as quick as she could. She tested in the mid-third grade range or higher in all of her subjects, and finished in record time. She is my little over achiever, for sure! She also tested in the "exceptional intelligence" range.

Both girls were referred for the gifted program and the evaluator gently encouraged the idea of involving them in that program as a supplement to homeschooling. I loved the gifted program I was in as a kid, and can see why she would suggest it for them. We won't be doing that, but it was nice to get a perspective on where they stand so I can feel comfortable challenging them outside the box of core subjects.

Snake (testing for 4th grade) went next, and his story is pretty similar. He finished in the 45 minute range and tested anywhere from the mid-fifth grade range all the way up to the mid-eighth grade range! This was astonishing to me considering he was just being pushed through in public school and retention letters were an annual tradition.

B (testing for 5th grade) went last, and was the only one to have test anxiety. He was so nervous and seemed to think he was going to bomb the evaluation and somehow make me disappointed in him. : ( Once he got into the testing room, though, he settled in and was just fine. The evaluator commented on his diligence and tenacity on the questions he was uncertain of. He tested in the mid-seventh grade to eighth grade range.

They all made me more than proud, as I am sure you can assume. :D God is so good and all glory goes to Him who is faithful!

First Day of School

2011-09-16T19:39:00.000-04:00

After much planning and pushing off of our start date, we began school this past Wednesday. See, we were going to start last Monday, but I was ill prepared and had torn up my schoolroom painting and had yet to put it back together (pictures to come soon!). Then I was going to start this past Monday, but Tuesday was the children's annual testing (more on that in another post) so it seemed a little silly to start on Monday when Tuesday would already be a day off. Besides, Daddy was returning to work from his paternity leave on Wednesday, so it seemed like the perfect day to begin so we all got back into our routines on the same day. Plus, it would distract us from our sadness that Daddy was gone. In the end, Daddy extended his paternity leave (much to our surprise!) and we set out to start school as planned.

We had a mixed bag all day, and I can already see the areas we will be struggling to smooth out as we resume our routine. Bible reading went well enough, though there were half the children wanting me to read the whole time and half the children asking to read a few verses each. The rest of our school morning was pretty much the same. Smash was the most dramatic (naturally!) saying, "I can't!" or "It's too hard!" and dragging her lessons out til after lunch. Everyone was excited to start and really enjoyed the curriculum we chose. I think I walked a ditch around our kitchen table helping one child then the next, but that is to be expected with new books that have different methods of teaching.

We had a shake up with kids being afflicted with a stomach virus yesterday and today, so we haven't been able to get into a good routine yet, but I know that will come in time. All in all, it was a success! :)

Smash- 1st grade

LiviLou- 2nd grade

Snake- 5th grade

B-6th grade

Cdub- 9th grade

Random Ramblings and Catching Up

2011-09-08T22:58:00.000-04:00

Life has been a little shifty lately, in a good way. Ok, well not all good. But mostly good.

Lil Momma (a.k.a. Adeline) is now 3 weeks old and we have all been welcoming her into the family with open arms...literally. This kid is never put down! Daddy and I are the worst, I fear, and the kids keep track of who held her when and whose turn it is next. Scooter smothers her (again, literally) with love and gets quite temperamental when we do not allow him to "fully express" his affection. Daddy is still on leave from work, which has been a huge blessing as well as an exercise in patience for both of us. He is not used to the way I run the house while he is gone, and I am not used to running the house with him here. Eh, it is a good problem to have. I love having him home. Soon I have to return him. :(

The kids are going to be starting school next week. They are also going to be getting their annual evaluations done. I am a little apprehensive about that simply because we have not been in our groove for a couple months, but I am more than confident that they will pass.

Speaking of school, I have finally gotten my body back from being inhabited by another human being and I am tackling the schoolroom. We had painted the hallway and one wall of the schoolroom, but we never got around to finishing the other 2 walls (one wall is brick). Daddy and I will be painting and then hanging new window treatments this weekend. Well, that's the plan. We still have to agree on window treatments. Sunday we go to pick up our 3 bookshelves that I bought from Borders at their closeout sale for $100. I am stoked about these bookshelves that are huge and sturdy and far cheaper than anything I would have found otherwise. Hey, it is the little things that keep me happy. :) I cannot wait to get the room completely done, purge what we do not need and get maximum use out of the space we have.

Speaking of painting, I am also tackling the kitchen. This should have been an easy job, but the previous owners of our house though it wise to apply wallpaper directly to the drywall. Needless to say a simple project (I honestly don't mind peeling wallpaper) turned into a huge one. I cannot wait to give our humble kitchen a simple face lift.

Oh yeah, and about school starting. I cannot believe I am saying this, but I have the whole school year lesson planned out! Ok, ok, I cheated by using Timberdoodle's Lesson Planner Tool but it still counts! I love this tool since it does nearly all the work for you. I wish I had had this last year! I am stoked about the curriculum we have chosen and I know it is going to work really well with our many appointments that are a constant fixture in our life.

And about that....I was hoping things would be calming down but there doesn't seem to be an end in sight for the time being. After seeing the geneticist this summer, it seems to be that we may not be getting an answer any time soon on Scooter's health issues. None of the doctors really know why he has the symptoms he has, and it has now become a "watch and wait" game. I used to get really upset at this possibility, but God has given me peace about this now. He has made HUGE strides physically and I would say that overall he is pretty much where other 20 month olds are at this point. His muscles still get weak when he is tired or overexerts himself, and his speech is still lagging significantly, but progress is being made, even if it is slow.

C-dub has been steadily declining behavior-wise this summer and we have hit a few bumps in the road with that, as well. There have been med changes that seem to be positive in the short run, though it has resulted in some of the behaviors we had under control that go along with Asperger's to rear their ugly head again. Some of his blood work came back off, so they ordered more blood work that was more specific. The results have landed us with a referral to an Endocrinologist. Who knows where this train will be stopping next!

Which leads me to Lil Momma...her umbilical cord did not detach and stop bleeding in a reasonable amount of time, so the doc has us going to the hematologist in a couple weeks with a suspicion that she may also have dysfibrinogenemia like Scooter.

So yeah, I am relieved to have the primarily workbook based curriculum. I am excited for the other things we have planned for the school year, as well, once of which is a winter garden in which each of the kids are responsible for their own crop.

I am trying freezer cooking, though I am not to the point of attempting once a month cooking yet. I figure I will start small and see where it takes me. I am also re-evaluating the way we eat, what we eat, and how we can eat better. I would really like to start purchasing only grass fed beef and intentionally avoid genetically modified foods. That means higher food costs, however, so that is one I am praying about.

Anyway, there is a little glimpse into what is bouncing off the inside of my skull. I am certain you will hear more about each of these things in the coming weeks. Until then, be blessed!

Our Handful From Heaven

2011-08-31T21:03:00.000-04:00

We have been a little busy around here. You see, late on August 17th we welcomed the newest member of our family into the world, Miss Adeline Promise.

She has been such a blessing from the moment we met her.

We have wanted to share with you the good news and pictures, but of course our hands have been very, very full.

And of course we have had to repeatedly count fingers and toes, just to make sure she is just as perfect as we think she is.

Don't worry...we have determined that she absolutely is!!!

So if it is a little quiet around here, please forgive me. I have so much I want to share, but for the time being I am simply soaking in the the goodness of God's grace and wondering why He should find favor with me and bless us yet again with an angel of His.

Do Hear Crickets Chirpping?

2011-08-16T13:43:00.000-04:00

I know it has been quiet around here. I have several posts that are partially done, a Not-Me-Monday that is so typical of this family, and many more things to share that I haven't even started yet. I was going to start school yesterday and post for the "Not" Back To School Bloghop, but we didn't start school as planned so that post never was written. We are in a tizzy right now because after meeting with my doctor yesterday we discovered that I am in the early stages of labor, and since then I have been sllllooooowwwwly progressing into active labor. I am determined to not rush in to the hospital just to be sent home (having 6 kids makes you not want to burn your babysitters!) and yet I am trying to determine how long to wait without delivering at home or en route. We have already had one baby come without a doctor in the room, another one try, and I don't really want to push it (no pun intended)! So here I am, at home, laboring in familiar surroundings, praying frequently, ~~mopping my floors~~ resting in bed, and trying to savor the last few moments before we greet Adeline. Ok, that last part is not really true...I never understand when I read other blogs about how they are laboring or 42 weeks and "savoring" the last days before welcoming a new addition. Come on, people! I know how you feel and that is definitely not the word I would use to describe it! Having said that, I give kudos for the good attitudes you project! ;)

So until the little one arrives (sooner rather than later, I hope!), I may be MIA ~~catching up on the laundry mountain~~ laying in bed watching TV.

Wordless Wednesday: Left To Entertain Themselves

2011-08-10T10:13:00.002-04:00

Our Homeschool Room- Before

2011-08-08T13:54:00.000-04:00

So the plan was for me to post a before picture and an after picture for the "Not" Back To School Bloghop. I took the before picture (brace yourself):

...and then I got to work. As I worked, I wondered how my homeschool room had gotten to this point. Things have gotten a bit lax around here, to the extent that it has taken its toll on every facet of our lives. The homeschool room is a very good representation of our lives right now. K Rose just went home from her summer visit, and things are *hopefully* going to really start getting back on track. Well, that was the plan anyway.

I am 34 weeks pregnant now, and although it has been pretty uneventful thus far, the fact is that I have always delivered at 34 or 35 weeks. What that translates to is seriously taking it easy to squeeze out any and every day we can with baby inside. Which translates to my schoolroom still looking like this:

Ok, it isn't that bad anymore. I did make a lot of progress, but there is still a long way to go before we start school next Monday. The problem is that I am supposed to be off my feet, laying down as much as I can to prolong the pregnancy. Yeah, makes it a little tricky to get anything done.

I promise to update with the finished version of our homeschool room as soon as I can!

We Have A New Home!!!

2011-08-04T22:11:00.000-04:00

So Daddy has been working many, many weekends and evenings building our lovely ladies a new home. If it wasn't for the fact that they were chickens, I would be jealous of all the attention on them. ;)

Now, keep in mind that Daddy has never built anything in his life. (My pictures are still waiting to be hung on the walls and we have lived here 9 years now!) Add to that the fact that we were determined to spend the least amount possible on our chicken coop because, well, because we don't have extra money to put into it at this point and wouldn't want to even if we did! In the end, Daddy built a Chicken Palace from only free scraps, having purchased only the wire to enclose it and a few 2x4 pressure treated boards for the bottom base of the coop. I am beyond impressed, let me tell you!

{This is where the ladies were living thus far}

{Side view- the door leads to their food and water}

{Front view- door on the left for us to walk into, right door for getting out eggs from nesting boxes}

{Inside view from the side door- nesting boxes to the far left, roosting bar near the middle, food/water on right, the far side is the opening with the ladder to the rest of the coop}

{View from front through the nesting box door}

{Sideway picture of the ladder leading to the nesting boxes, food, water, and roosting bars}

{The ladies loving their new home}

{K Rose holding a chicken for the first time as she moves them to their new lodging}

There have been a few tweaks in the coop since I took these pictures. The ladder rungs were too far apart for the girls, so we added additional rungs in between the ones shown. The chickens were flying into their nesting area rather than using the ladder, so we needed to remedy that. We also are re-thinking the location of the water, though we haven't made a decision on that yet. With where we have the water, it would be over the portion of the coop that is over the deep litter portion (more on that in a minute) of our coop and that area has to stay dry. The entire point of our design, though, and thus the strategic placement of our doors and such was to avoid having to enter the coop ourselves and thus avoid the mess of stepping in, well, the mess. The shingles have not been put on yet, although the tar paper has, because the person giving us the shingles has not gotten them here yet. No worries, we will get that up soon. Also, we will be adding a couple 2x4s to the floor of the coop in order to utilize the deep litter method and avoid having to constantly clean the chicken pen. I will update with pictures once we get that done. I am optimistic that we can get the chickens to be a very low maintenance part of our lives. We shall see. :)

We also have some other chicken news that will come complete with pictures, soon!

Not Me Monday: Snakes, Casseroles, and Hotels

2011-08-01T10:17:00.000-04:00

I do not have 2 snakes wrapped in my freezer ready to be dissected. These are not snakes that were ~~murdered~~ acquired from our back yard. The first was a legitimate kill; the snake was acting really strange and we couldn't identify it, so we decided to play it safe rather than sorry. The second snake met its demise with well intentions from B, but was a black racer. :( I did not come home from the store to have said black racer (without warning) thrust in my face in a ziploc bag, headless. I will not share what my reaction was! : x

I did not plot with the children to freak Daddy out big time by wrapping the first snake in a brown plastic grocery bag and sticking it in the freezer right where I usually keep the Klondike Bars (which are often wrapped in, you guessed it, a brown plastic bag to discourage Daddy from eating them all!). I was not perfectly content to allow Daddy to stumble upon our recent kill, unaware, as he rooted around for a late night snack. My plan did not get thwarted, however, when all the children greeted Daddy at the door when he came home from work saying,"Don't you want a Klondike Bar? Wouldn't you like a nice cool snack? Mommy isn't hiding any sweet treats in the freezer!" I did not have to confess my scheme before it was even carried out, and I was certainly not super bummed.

I did not prepare two of the same casserole dish with the intention of freezing one so as to avoid making dinner one night this week, only to leave it in the oven for two days. (Ok, it wasn't actually me that left the casserole in the oven, but the culprit will remain nameless! ;P )

I did not book a hotel for a night for a short family getaway on the beach, which was a gift from family, only to take us to the wrong hotel to check-in. I did not sit in the parking lot waiting for Daddy to check in at the office for a good 20 minutes, oblivious to my mistake the entire time.

B was pointing at a car at church and kept saying, "It's not a hybrid." I did not finally say, "Ok, B! I get it! It isn't a hybrid! So what?!" B did not have utmost patience as he repeated, "No, mom. It's a Sonota Hybrid."

As usual, I am so glad none of this happened this week, as I would begin to think I was losing my mind!

Curriculum for 5, 2 with Special Needs

2011-07-31T20:20:00.002-04:00

There were a lot of things that we loved about our curriculum last year, but a lot of things that we realized just wouldn't work with 3 special needs children and the appointments required for their care. So this school year, our curriculum is getting a major overhaul. I have spent countless hours researching (primarily) workbook based educations and attended the homeschool convention this year to get a hands on idea of what I would be able to use effectively. My focus was on 1. allowing the kids to work independently for the most part, 2. portability to appointments, and 3. avoiding overkill while still giving them a good education. Some of the curriculum is simply what we didn't finish or get to last year and is still a good fit for our family. In the end, this is where we landed. :)

***My Amazon.com links are not working when I put them in, so there are no linkies for the curriculum. :(

C-dub (Grade 9)

Math- Saxon Geometry or Algebra 2 (I can't make up my mind on this!)

Science- AiG Question of Origins, then Apologia Biology

History/Geography- BJUP Heritage Studies Cultural Geography

Bible- Cornerstone Curriculum: Starting Points

Literature- the works of R.M. Ballantyne

Composition- IEW Student Writing Intensive on DVD Level C

Grammar- Daily Grams Jr/Sr

Vocabulary- Wordly Wise 8 (we will be finishing last year's book)

Handwriting- Photocopies of Reason for Handwriting Transition (cursive portions)

B (Grade 6)

Math- Teaching Textbooks 5/6 (finishing the tail end of 5, starting 6)

Bible- Kay Arthur Series- Jesus in the Spotlight (Book of John)

Geography- Daily Geography 6

History- BJUP Heritage Studies 4

Science- Exploring Creation with Zoology 1: Flying Creatures of the 5th Day

Handwriting- Reason For Handwriting Transition

Literature- Ballantyne

Composition- Daily 6-Trait Writing, Grade 6

Spelling- Reason For Spelling D

Grammar- Daily Grams 6

Vocabulary- Wordly Wise 5 (we will be finishing last year's book)

Snake (Grade 5)

Math- Teaching Textbooks 5 (he started this last year and will finish it this year)

Bible- Kay Arthur Series- Jesus in the Spotlight (Book of John)

Geography- Daily Geography 5

History- BJUP Heritage Studies 4

Science- Exploring Creation with Zoology 1: Flying Creatures of the 5th Day

Handwriting- Reason For Handwriting Transition

Literature- Ballantyne

Composition- Daily 6-Trait Writing, Grade 5

Spelling- Reason For Spelling D

Grammar- Daily Grams 5

Vocabulary- Wordly Wise 4 (we will be finishing last year's book)

Olivia (Grade 2)

Math- Singapore 2A and 2B

Bible- Kay Arthur Series- Jesus in the Spotlight (Book of John)

Geography- Map of US(this is an activity book from the Dollar Tree that covers all 50 states with basic facts)

History- BJUP Heritage Studies 1

Science- Exploring Creation with Zoology 1: Flying Creatures of the 5th Day

Handwriting- Reason For Handwriting B

Reading- Bob Jones University Readers to start...not sure where we will go from there

Composition- Daily 6-Trait Writing, Grade 2

Spelling- Reason For Spelling C

Grammar- Daily Grams 2

Smash (Grade 1)

Math- Singapore 1A and 1B

Bible- Kay Arthur Series- Jesus in the Spotlight (Book of John)

Geography- Map of US(this is an activity book from the Dollar Tree that covers all 50 states with basic facts)

History- BJUP Heritage Studies 1

Science- Exploring Creation with Zoology 1: Flying Creatures of the 5th Day

Handwriting- Reason For Handwriting A

Reading- Bob Jones University Readers to start...not sure where we will go from there

Composition- Daily 6-Trait Writing, Grade 1

Spelling- Reason For Spelling B

All of the kids will be doing activities from the Usborne Book of Art Skills, and around Christmas we will be using Color the Classics-Christmas Classics. The 3 older boys will be using Rosetta Stone for their foreign language, although we have not finalized which language we will be pursuing knowledge of (it is down to either Spanish or Mandarin, with Mandarin in the lead).

Being that we are expecting a baby soon (as soon as within the next couple weeks, possibly!), we have decided to warm up into the school year in a way that will not be as structured as normal. There is no official "start date", though August 15th will be when we are moving forward with some book work. I anticipate taking some time off or only doing school work here and there once the baby comes, and once I find my feet after her birth we will resume a more regular Monday through Thursday schedule.

Say WHAT?!?!?!

2011-07-28T22:06:00.000-04:00

You know how as you are growing up, or growing in your walk with the Lord, how you memorize or at the very least recognize certain verses when you hear them? Every once in a while I will think of a verse that I know by heart and it strikes me in a totally different way than ever before. Usually, I find that to be a good thing. I feel enlightened, blessed, and amazed at the wonders of His word.

The other day I was going about my business and I thought of Genesis 2:24 "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." No big deal, right? Of course a man leaves his father and mother at some point and gets married. Yeah, not so simple. It says "that is why a man leaves his father and mother", as in he wouldn't leave prior to that time. I have always been raised as a support yourself, work for what you got kinda girl. It was instilled in me young that you earn your keep, and I have raised my children the same way. I always assumed when the kids graduate from high school they are going to move out and do their thing, working from the ground up like we did, earning their own, and standing on their own two feet. I always looked at those who lived at home with their parents in a negative light, both with the parents for allowing it and the "children" for doing it. It never occurred to me that it is in my parental duties to allow them to stay at home until they married! ACK!

Talk about a ~~smack in the head~~ revelation. I am humbled, to say the least. It has given me a lot to think about, a new perspective on what my job description entails, what is expected of me as a mother. I guess I could argue that this is only relevant to that society, and I am off the hook because that isn't how it works in today's society. I think to do so, though, would negate what the Lord is telling me, personally. I don't have this one figured out, that is for sure, but I do know I look at the whole situation a little differently. And to be honest with you, it doesn't even bother me! Now that is an act of God!

It's a God Thing-Part 2

2011-07-24T21:37:00.000-04:00

So here I was at bible study, trying to simply give the update of what was happening and what my prayer request was when one of my friends, D, turns to me and says, "You know Scooter is going to be fine. It is all going to be alright." Now, D isn't one to just tell you what you want to hear or try to be optimistic all the time just because. I felt a flash of discomfort and just kinda said, "Yeah but..." and went on with my story. I didn't think too much of the statement because I hear that a lot...a lot. Family and friends think that it is encouraging to say, "things will work out" and I think it helps them deal with the situation as well, but in the end they don't know any more than I do how things will end up. I am so used to hearing that that it just kinda rolled off my back.

I kept going with my prayer request and we made a couple jokes about how we needed to commission House to diagnose Scooter. Out of nowhere, D says, "You know who this whole thing makes me think of?" Now, we have been laughing and goofing off about the whole thing, being lighthearted so I was thinking she was going to come back with something witty. It shocked me, though, when D says, "Tim Tebow." I tell you what, I had goosebumps on goosebumps.

I have only known D for a few months, since our bible study group was started by a mutual friend of ours. So there was no way for her to know the story behind this picture:

Nate and I used to joke while Scooter was still in the hospital that we should write verses on the tape that held the cannula giving him oxygen, just like Tim Tebow did when he played football. This particular picture we joked should have 1 Thessalonians 5:18 on it. I only know that because it was tagged with that verse when I found it for this blog. I will have to be honest with you, I had to look the verse up. I don't know it by heart and I still have no idea how we happened to find that verse in the midst of that crisis. It states "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

Can I just tell you that our God is so good, and so faithful, and so patient! I guess the first statement D made wasn't obvious enough, so God made sure I understood what He was saying through her. He hit a nerve by using something there was absolutely no way she could have known about to reassure me that He was ever present and had His hand on the situation. What peace, what joy, what sweet relief those words have brought me! Then to stumble upon that verse again as we face uncertainty and have to deal with this lack of answers...wow...there really just are no words!

So here I am, with a spring to my step and feeling so much more decisive in the matter. We have decided to finish this round of bloodwork and urinalysis that the geneticist ordered and leave it at that for the time being. If nothing comes back abnormal on those tests, I plan to followup with the neurologist as scheduled and simply ask if we are at the point where we don't know and won't likely know. Otherwise, it is time to back off and let the kid breathe for a while and trust that whatever the issue is, it will reveal itself or resolve itself in time. When you have God as big and as great as mine, it isn't so hard to relax and enjoy the season you are in. :)

It's a God Thing-Part 1

2011-07-21T22:16:00.000-04:00

So originally I was wondering whether to post about C-dub's latest medical "things" or to update on Scooter's latest barrel of fun. I had settled on Scooter's most recent adventures and even had a title for the blog post, which was to be "Knock Knock. Who's There? Absolutely Nothing."

However, I have been working at a full-day VBS with our church, watching the volunteers' children (3 and under) and haven't had, shall we say, the stamina at the end of the day to post. But something happened tonight that is compelling me to write this post here and now. If there are a bunch of typos or I trail off into nonsense, blame it on the toddlers. :D

Scooter went to the geneticist on Tuesday. Now, this was supposed to be the "big" appointment where everything would be discovered and make total and complete sense. After sitting in the waiting room for an hour, the genetic counselor calls us back, takes Scooter's measurements and a few pictures. He goes through the family history in detail, talks down to me about the genetic testing the hematologist requested, and says he will go talk to the geneticist and then send her in. Yeah, about everyone in that office has the personality of a rock and is downright rude. The receptionists loved Scooter and oohed and aahed over him, but other than that it was like you had to check your personality at the door. Anyway, through all of this questioning, Scooter is screaming and being a downright terror because he has been up since an unreal hour due to VBS and hasn't gotten a nap.

Finally the geneticist comes in, who is only slightly more friendly than everyone else I have talked to, and begins her questioning, which is practically verbatim to what the first guy asked. She does a super quick cursory exam on Scooter and then we sit down to talk. Long story ~~short~~ condensed...she wants to run a urinalysis and a couple blood tests to test his long chain sugars and follow-up in a year. I was dumbfounded. The neurologist strongly suspected a mitochondrial disorder, which I mentioned to the geneticist, and the doctor basically shooed the idea saying Scooter would have had liver or pancreatic issues if that was the case. I was in a position where I wasn't sure what to say because I definitely wasn't expecting to be blown off, which is exactly what I feel like happened. She said to get the labs drawn and she would follow-up with him in a year. She also strongly recommended sedating Scooter to tests his hearing to get a complete hearing screening done since the last test was only a partial test. She kept going back to that, saying that she thought his speech delays were because he wasn't able to hear adequately.

While I am on the hearing issue, let me just put a sidebar here to state that although Scooter failed his hearing test initially at the Ear, Nose, and Throat, it wasn't a massive failure. The hearing test they did after his tubes were placed was not complete because he wouldn't finish the test, but the doctor was satisfied with the results and was planning on following up at his 6 month follow-up with another hearing test, just to be sure. Additionally, my son is so not hard of hearing. I can easily call his name without elevating my voice and his back can be turned to me and he will respond. For this doctor to push that is absolutely absurd and I was flabbergasted. It also doesn't explain the long list of other symptoms he has.

Ok, so here I was, in the geneticist's office after waiting 6 months to get there with a big fat road to nowhere, suggestions that were not in line with any of his other doctors, and no reasonable game plan. She recommended a possible muscle biopsy, which was the only other thing the neurologist could recommend as well, but thought that since he was "hard of hearing" and there were no other serious indicators of issues, that it wasn't warranted. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me! I finally recovered enough to say, "I guess my biggest concern is that I have no idea why he stumbles like a drunk man when he is tired, runs into stuff, or falls over. That is what disturbs me." She managed to skirt giving me a real answer and referred to the labs that she would be running and just generally didn't even seem bothered by the symptoms I was telling her about. UGH!

I left that office baffled, hurt, angry, confused, ticked off....my heart was a hurricane of emotions! I struggled to make sense of where this left us with treating Scooter, and fought tears over the frustration of it all. I mean, no one has said,"We just don't know and we have to accept that for what it is." So what does that mean? Do I dig my teeth in and drive the issue until I get what I need, til there is some kind of answer or confirmation that there isn't an answer? Do I let go and accept the symptoms for what they are and just treat the symptom rather than insisting on knowing the cause? What if the cause is insignificant and the course of treatment would simply be to treat the symptoms as we are now, anyway? What if they discover the cause 5 years from now because I let the issue go and that 5 years means the difference between life and death, between a good quality of life and dependence on us to care for him, the difference of a cure that has to be implemented sooner rather than later to be effective?

I know it sounds dramatic, and I don't mean to make it seem that way, but this is where I am at. I am leaning on the strength of God here, seeking His will and guidance. What is the right answer? What does He want me to do? We always pray, "May His will be done," but when the going gets tough and His will isn't exactly what we had planned, are we willing to back it up in faith? Am I willing to let go and let God, even knowing that His way is always the better way? And what exactly is His will in this situation, anyway?

*sigh*

I am not going to pretend like I haven't shed a lot of tears over the medical treatment of this child, nor am I going to pretend that this isn't emotionally and physically exhausting. I, like most parents, took for granted that Scooter would be born healthy and without complication. That wasn't in the plan, and I have come to terms with that. But as a parent, it is so hard to be where I am right now and be at peace. I haven't been spending night and day dwelling on the issue, but it was definitely something that I was planning on bringing to my girls for prayer at bible study tonight, and that was when God decided it was time to reveal himself to me.

TO BE CONTINUED.....

My Foray Into Jarring

2011-07-14T13:04:00.000-04:00

Ok, Daddy will kill me if he realizes I told you this, but since he neglects to read my blog I just may be safe.... ;)

It isn't actually called jarring....it is called canning. But Daddy keeps calling it jarring. Bless his heart! <3

What I do know, whatever you want to call it, is that I am digging it. Way back when we picked all those tomatoes, we ventured into the world of canning ever so briefly. Our dear friend purchased all of the equipment, including a pressure canner, and away we went....or didn't. It was a huge flop, although we did manage to can quite a few jars of tomatoes before we resorted to freezing the remaining processed tomatoes in freezer bags.

I gave up on the idea of canning, reasoning that it didn't even make sense to can food since our family blows through it so quickly. Between the time and effort and even the initial cost, it just wasn't sensible.

Then my sweet friend, Monica, invited me over to her house to learn from a veteran how to make and can salsa. What an incredible time of fun, fellowship, and learning! I brought 3 pint-sized jars of chunky salsa home and told Daddy not to touch! That lasted all of one day. He busted into the salsa and wasn't feeling it. He didn't like nearly everything about it...the larger pieces of veggies, the recipe (there were cucumbers in it), or the consistency. I was surprised, and I thought it was great. I was on such a kick from learning how to can that I decided to tweak the recipe to something I thought he would like a little more and repeat the whole process at home on my own, with a little help from my ~~slaves~~ children.

Salsa is one of the few things you can use the hot water bath canning method, which is a bummer there aren't a ton more, but was good for me since I didn't own a pressure canner and wasn't very successful with the last one. I still had all the jars from my previous canning attempt so all I needed were the fresh veggies from the produce stand and we were off. I spent under $20 for all the ingredients in the end, minus the tomatoes which we already had from our $1 for a 5 lb. bucket adventure. All the vegetables are still in season and cheap, and between that and what we used from our garden we were able to make our salsa super cheap. I used a stock pot I had on hand:

...and this is what I ended up with prior to canning:

I made sure to use less cucumber than the original recipe called for (about 1/2) and I also put the salsa in the food processor to make it the chunkiness Daddy wanted. Daddy was the taste tester and heartily approved. I nearly had to beat him off the pot as I was canning! He took about 4-5 pints out to share with people at work and to take to a party, as well. In the end I was able to can 6 quarts and 9 pints of salsa. I would have had more, obviously, but Daddy did quite a bit of damage. :) Still, the shear weight of our new addition to my stockpile has bowed the shelves so I need to figure that one out quick!

Now, don't let me fool you. Nothing can happen in this house without adventure, as we all know I am not a natural Sally Homemaker. I was gung ho to get this salsa canned in one day, but I started later than I intended and my er, help, wasn't as fast or efficient as I originally planned for. I also didn't realize that I didn't have the large mouth tongs I needed to remove the jars from the hot water after canning. I managed to break a jar prior to canning using regular kitchen tongs (bad idea), splash myself pretty liberally with hot water in the process (I was not injured badly), and we had yet another run in with the jalepenoes (don't even ask!).

All in all it was a wonderful and fun experience and Daddy even hung out to help and for moral support. :) I can't wait to do it again with something else!

Happy Anniversary, Daddy!!!

2011-07-10T21:52:00.000-04:00

This was us then, on one of our first dates:

This is us now, just a little bit ago with little Adeline on board:

We have lived a lifetime between now and then, and I am more in love with Daddy than I could have ever imagined. What a blessing he is!

Update On Diagnosis For C-dub

2011-07-07T21:56:00.001-04:00

***This post is old (from May) and for some unknown reason it hasn't been posted as of yet. Not sure what happened, but just keep that in mind as you read. :)***

So it is official...C-dub has a(nother) diagnosis, this one being the main one we have been chasing after the answer for. He has been officially diagnosed with autism, with the caveat that he could be considered/diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. According to the notes, the doctor chose to go with the diagnosis of autism due to the severity of the symptoms though C-dub is certainly what you would call "high functioning" (which is related to their mental intellect).

So where does that leave us? Well, there were more referrals for more tests in regard to his physical growth, a referral to the speech pathologist, a referral for ABA therapy, and plans to adjust his medications to be more effective.

I feel like we are at a point now where we have a label and a pat on the back, though. There is surprisingly little help out there for C-dub, and insurance is not willing to cover much of the little help there is to be found. He isn't autistic to the point of the stereotypical children (or adults) you think of when you think of autism, so I am not fighting that battle when it comes to finding help. We live in a large city and yet I am spinning my wheels trying to find a support group or therapies or even a blog that offers consistent and substantial guidance or help. I was referred to CARD by the developmental pediatrician and basically told there that there wasn't much they could do for me unless I had the resources to pay out of pocket, as most of the treatments for C-dub are not insurance approved (yes, I am a little upset about this...which may be why I keep bringing it up). Asperger's seems to be seen as an inconvenience rather than a very real condition that needs treatment, and so here I am left holding the burden of trying to help my son with little to no direction.

So I have done what any mother in her right mind would do. I have spent hours scouring the internet for clues as to what will be successful in helping C-dub become an independent, highly-functioning adult. I have researched books and curriculum for things that will facilitate growth in the problem areas while not holding back the already strong areas. I have asked around, made countless telephone calls, and quizzed any and every doctor/therapist/nurse/janitor that we run into if they know anything about how to help my son. And I have prayed. Lord, how I have prayed with a passion and yearning in my soul for answers.

Truth be told I have come up with very little, but the few morsels I have come up with I have clung to with hope. Our local children's hospital just opened an ABA therapy program which happens to have funds to offer scholarships to parents should their children not have insurance coverage for ABA therapy. It is first come first served, but I have made sure that C-dub (and Snake, too) is on the list and all paperwork was supplied that was needed. I had him evaluated by the speech pathologist (more on that later) as recommended by his doctor. I have found several books that I am plowing through that I am optimistic may give me insight and direction in helping C-dub. And finally, I am leaning on the Lord for wisdom and understanding....because I just don't. I don't understand much of anything about the whys, the hows, the what-nows. I thought having a diagnosis would lead me to the answers and it has done anything but that. Having said that, I know that God has given me this child to raise in His will and that He will equip me to do exactly that if I seek after Him with all my heart and soul.

For the time being, things are rough. C-dub seems to be spiraling downhill fast. I am puzzled as to what is causing this, but I am suspicious that puberty hitting is in large part responsible. Every single day is a battle with him, while my brain and heart wrestle to figure out what is connecting in his brain and what isn't. How do you discipline for things that he does not understand? How do you discern what he understands and what he just doesn't feel like doing? How do you decrease the meltdowns and instill the love of Christ in a way that is real to him when his world is so black and white? ::sigh::

To say this is a journey would be a gross understatement at this point. This is a battle, spiritual and emotional. Going through this at 13 rather than having early intervention doesn't seem to help much. Nor does starting all of this while pregnant and hormonal. But fight we will, and endure we must. I will stop at nothing to do everything I can to protect and encourage my son. I am sure all you mothers out there can relate, no matter what road you have walked with your children. :)

Because things were appearing to be a little bit dull around here....

2011-07-05T12:29:00.000-04:00

I know it has been quiet on my blog, and for good reason. All last week (and part of the week before!) I was working on curriculum choices for the kids for the 2011-2012 school year, making price comparisons, and purchasing said curriculum. I forgot how much time and energy it took to get that done!

Life was going along swimmingly, but I guess we needed a little bit of a shake up in the mix.

Friday I was laying in bed in the morning listening to some of my kids play while talking to others who were laying with me. I heard a noise, what sounded like a couple metal pipes tumbling to the ground. I hushed everyone and listened. About a minute went by and then I heard feet pounding, Scooter screaming, and panicked breathing. I jumped out of bed and B met me in the hall gasping, "Scooter's head is bleeding!"

Now, B is very responsible, very level-headed. I knew that if he was freaking out we could be in big trouble. He handed me the baby and I started giving orders to get what I needed to care for Scooter and instructing everyone to calm down. With Scooter's bleeding disorder, this was the moment we had all been waiting for with dread. Soon I had Scooter in the rocker with an icepack on his head and I was assessing the injury while the other children hovered nearby with distressed faces.

His forehead was split, though not as bad as it could have been. There was a gash directly in the middle of his forehead about 1/2" wide. Scooter fought me on the ice, which is really unusual for him since he knows the drill now very well. Any time he sees an icepack, he puts it to his head whether there is an injury or not.

I knew that his head had to be hurting, and I was torn as to what in the world to do. The bleeding wasn't bad at all at this point, which encouraged me. As I iced and rocked, I got the story from B about what exactly happened. Apparently there is a protective cap on the end of the futon that came off and is missing. B was playing peek-a-boo with Scooter and Scooter got excited and slammed his head onto the exposed metal pipe. Needless to say, it would have been nice to have known about this missing cap!

After a while I butterflied the wound closed and sent a text to Daddy at work, all the while keeping the ice on Scooter's head.

See, if it was any of the other kids, this would be the end of the story. But Scooter is not like the other children. Daddy insisted that I call the hematologist and get their input since there could be internal bleeding. I hadn't even thought of that! A quick call to the hema and we were sent to the local children's ER. After a CT scan to rule out cranial bleeding, some patching up, and a suture kit thrown in as a souvenir, Scooter was good to go.

In the end, the 1+ hour of ice and pressure did what we needed it to do, which was to limit the blood flow from the wound. It oozed for quite a while after we were home, and after 3 changes of the bandages I finally got him fixed back up in a way that the tape on the wound is on there really, really well. The doctors said not to change the tape holding the wound together unless it falls off (normally you would change it daily) so as not to disrupt the clot that we got to form, so the tape looks pretty dirty and gross. There is some minor oozing under the tape, but nothing to fret about. It is just fine if it oozes so long as it is a slow ooze. The biggest concern is that the bleeding wouldn't stop and he would lose enough blood to need a transfusion, which is clearly not happening here.

So crisis averted. We have now had our first big boo boo and survived. YAY! The kids now know a little better how to handle it if something like this happens again. The offending futon is repaired. Scooter is off and running again and is oblivious to the fact that he needs to nurse his forehead until it heals.

Baby Bump Update

2011-06-23T15:29:00.000-04:00

I don't know about you, but I feel like there has been a lot of, um, should I phrase it "negative", stuff posted on my blog lately. I hate getting bogged down in the yuck of the children's issues, but I want to remain true to helping others wade through the muck that is autism, bipolar, and dysfibrinogenemia. Having said that, it is about time for a little something something to make me you smile.

How about a baby bump update? *cheers from the roaring crowd* First, I am going to say that I am going to refrain from making any critical comments about either of the pictures below (yay for mom!). I am posted both because one shows mom looking better than baby, the other shows a bit better picture of baby. Call me vain, but I think it is is only fair that we both get to show our good side. ;)

Thus far (28 weeks) I have gained 18 lbs and baby is growing beautifully. I know, it doesn't seem impressive, but for me that is a huge (no pun intended) accomplishment. I don't usually even make it to 18 lbs. the entire pregnancy! Believe it or not, I still have people asking me if I am pregnant. Um, hello? Is it just me or do I clearly appear pregnant? Well, again I will take it as a compliment. :)

I Know It Could Be So Much Worse, But.....

2011-06-22T13:15:00.000-04:00

I am so relieved. I am elated. I am frustrated. I am angry. I am helpless. I am hurting. I am not the one in control. And I don't like it. In fact, I hate it. I feel crippled.

I talked to the nurse at Scooter's neurologist office today. The genetic test for mitochondrial deletions came back with the result of "deleterious gene not detected". To me, this seems like a double negative and a bad thing. It isn't, the nurse assured me. What it means is that the gene that would be causing the issues isn't there, which is a good thing. Although the neurologist never indicated what it was that we were looking for in this genetic test, I deduced through hours of Google research that one of the prime suspects was spinal muscular atrophy, or SMA. Although we are not out of the woods on that one yet (5% of cases cannot be detected via genetics, even if the test if negative) and we still have to wait on the neurologist to read and interpret the report, I am so relieved. And frustrated. And angry. And helpless. If what Scooter is dealing with isn't SMA (praise the Lord!), then what is it? It seems like there are always more tests, more evaluations, and never any answers!

They warned me that this could happen, that we may never get to the bottom of what is causing his hypotonia, but as a mother that is just not an acceptable answer to me! They have to find the answers! They have to tell me what we are dealing with so I can do everything in my power to help Scooter! They have to help me fix my baby!

And then God reminded me of this song:

So here I sit, a sobbing mess. A faithless, undeserving wretch who is begging for mercy, begging for strength, begging to be held in the arms of Grace. I could blame it on the pregnancy hormones, but I am calling it for what it is. Doubt. A total ~~inability~~ refusal to give up control to the only One who can fix any of this, if He so chooses.

This is hard, people. It is so hard to watch day in and day out as your sweet baby boy fights this fight he didn't ask for, to watch him next to children his own age and see the stark differences, to know that this journey may not be over for him for a long, long time, if ever. But I am reminded that he is not alone in this, I am not alone. My Father has promised that, and He always keeps His promises.

So today, while I am still weak, while I don't have any answers and no promise of answers to come, while there is absolutely nothing I can do to change things, I am praising Him and leaning on His word. I am letting Him carry my cross, which is what He has called me to to begin with.

Psalm 91:9-16

⁹ If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
   and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
   no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
   to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
   so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
   you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
   I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
   I will be with him in trouble,
   I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
   and show him my salvation.”

What a great and mighty God we serve!

Not Me Monday: Vacuums, Peppers, and Shoes

2011-06-21T12:41:00.000-04:00

My my my, where do I start?

I guess I could start with the fact that I did not write this post yesterday and then promptly forget to post it, now making it a Not Me Tuesday, which doesn't really jive. Nope, not me.

I did not inadvertently vacuum a child's sock into my very expensive Dyson vacuum cleaner while Spring cleaning my bedroom. I did not have to choke back tears as I dismantled the entire vacuum searching for said sock, with no luck locating the offender. As I contemplated the possible loss of my favorite household device, I did not finally locate the sock and began to work it slowly from the hose attachment where it was lodged. This did not take an hour of my time and the result did not look anything like this nightmare.

I did not make a delicious taco dinner for the family that included diced jalapenos from our garden and then I did not proceed to wipe my eye with my (just washed) hands. I did not realize after the fact that the soap that I used was not a grease cutting soap, therefore the oil from the jalapeno plant was still on my hand. I did not learn quickly that jalapeno oil in your eye will stay there and burn until dealt with. I did not Google "jalapeno in eye" and proceed to put milk in a small glass and give myself an eyewash (which by the way, actually works). Once getting the fire in my eye under control I did not proceed to touch the rim of my nose and set my nostril on fire! *I guess it was actually at this point that I realized that I hadn't used a grease cutting soap.* Although I am adventurous, there was no milk wash to be done in my nose and I dealt with a burning nostril for quite some time. Daddy did not make the same mistake only a few days later, despite my debacle. ;)

As we drove to a restaurant late Saturday evening to eat dinner, I did not get desperate to shush a screaming Scooter and thereby feed him a ridiculously sugary cereal that I had in the car because I had been snacking on it. (What?! I am pregnant and I was craving it!) Scooter did not down the cereal voraciously without breathing all the way to the restaurant, where the sugar kicked in suddenly and he began acting like the little girl from Exorcist. I was not laughing so hard that I was crying, and Daddy was not lecturing me simultaneously about how I am to never ever give him that type of cereal again.

I did not boil 2 dozen eggs to make deviled eggs for a get-together and then simply forget about my plans and leave them in the fridge, unmade and forgotten until the day after the shindig. We were not eating a lot of boiled eggs for a while there.

Daddy and I have not decided to try to claim soda bottles in a very unusual manner....by swigging directly from the soda bottle before the other can. I am a Dr. Pepper fanatic and have always battled keeping my soda intake down and my water intake up. This drives Daddy nuts, and he will do everything to keep my from consuming soda. Interestingly, although Daddy and I will drink after one another from a glass, for some unknown reason we will not drink after one another from a 2-liter unless completely desperate. So the latest method in the house has not been to purchase 2-liters if they go on sale and then be the first to take a fat swig out of the bottle in order to claim it. I know, it is pathetic. It has gotten so bad that we have had to compromise and drink after one another from the 2-liter from time to time. You would think we were fighting over the last morsel of food in the house!

I did not stick my proverbial foot in my mouth as I told another lady from my church how incredibly hard it was to have a bunch of littles at the same time. I did not make sure to elaborate into how bad it was for me to have 5 children 7 and under and how most days ended with my crying and rocking in bed. I did not further delve into how I was not necessarily looking forward to going there again once the baby was born and I had 2 under 2. It was not until I was home that I realized that I had just gone crazy purging my complaints to someone who is expected her third child in a few weeks with a 1 and just-turned 3 year old at home. *groan* The conversation had started in relation to myself, and in my completely doped up pregnancy brain I failed to see the flashing warning lights indicating that the situation related to her, as well, and she has never walked that road as of yet. Nice, Kelly, nice.

I did not drive all the way out the only mall that still has a Stride Rite in our area in order to purchase an ~~overpriced~~ specific pair of shoes that Scooter needs in order to (hopefully) avoid orthotics only to misread the mall map and have to walk the entire length of the mall and back before locating said shoe store. I did not proceed to pay more than the equivalent of what I pay for 2 pairs of name-brand shoes for these miracle working sandal/shoe things. After making my purchase and exiting the mall, I did not hear, "Mommy, Scooter only has one shoe on!" from LiviLou as we were loading into the vehicle. I did not begin to hyperventilate over the lost shoe that I just bought with half my children's college savings, and holler, "What do you mean he lost a shoe?!" At this point, the good Lord definitely intervened with an angel who shouted from her car parked several spaces away, "I saw a toddler's shoe directly inside the door of the mall. Hopefully it is still there." With my gratitude and thanks, the children and I did not race back into the mall and come out victorious with Scooter's missing shoe.

My First Time: Convention

2011-06-17T15:48:00.000-04:00

This year I went to my first homeschool convention. Being that this was our first full year of homeschooling, I chose to skip the homeschool convention last year because I was advised to do so by my husband and a couple we are very close to. My husband's advice was really just because of the advice of our friends, not because he knew much about it, but I chose to pass because he wanted me to. The argument was that the companies peddling their goods at convention have a lot of pretty goodies and their best foot forward, and in turn you can be lured into purchasing things you do not need. Seemed like a valid argument at the time, although even then I knew that I was not much of an impulsive shopper and I doubted I would get sucked in that easily.

Well, skipping the homeschool convention last year was one of the worst choices I have made in our homeschooling journey, though I certainly couldn't have known that at the time. I researched all of my curriculum choices exhaustively last year and prayed long and hard for guidance in the decisions I was making. I felt good about what I chose, and with the exception of Rod and Staff English I loved everything I purchased. Nothing, however, beats being able to touch and feel and thumb through the curricula choices. Come November, we hit a hard spot and had doctor appointment after doctor appointment. While I love Tapestry of Grace, it isn't exactly portable and our sweet little homeschool was veered crazily off course.

This year I was determined to go to convention and see everything for myself. I already knew I was sticking with Singapore Math for LiviLou and that Smash would be moving over to that, as well, so that was on my list of "to purchase" while I was there. They had booth after booth after booth....I waddled my way through the entire convention hall and saw everything I wanted in the 1 day I went, but could have certainly used more time if I had it. I also didn't have the ability to take in any of the speaking engagements this year, which I was bummed about and plan to do next year. With the exception of social studies, I was able to solidify my curriculum choices the day of convention and chose a couple new ones I hadn't considered, though I didn't purchase anything except the Singapore Math workbooks I set out to. I wanted to make sure that I prayed about my choices and nothing was impulsive, no matter how much money I saved. After all, it isn't actually saving money if I never use the program and have to buy the "right" program in the end.

I did learn a few things that I think would be helpful for other homeschoolers who have not been to convention before.

1. Wear comfortable shoes. That convention hall was (no joke) the size of a football field and packed from wall to wall with booths. Now is not the time to break in a new pair of sneakers.

2. Bring your own snacks and water. Water or soda was $2.00 a piece and snacks were equally overpriced. There is no reason to pay that when you can easily pack affordable snacks in your backpack.

3. Bring something to carry, or better yet, pull, your purchases home in. I made the mistake of not thinking of this ahead of time, but luckily the friend I went with had and brought me a backpack. Even if you don't purchase anything, the vendors give out tons of freebies and you will not want to lug those around all day in your arms. I saw several people with wagons, pull-behind suitcases, and even just utilizing the basket on their strollers.

4. Research the vendors before you go to convention. I did this by looking through the convention booklet they had available online for download. I went to each of the websites provided for each vendor and crossed off the ones I knew I was not interested in (an example for me this year was Rod and Staff) and highlighted the ones I knew I didn't want to miss. That way I could ensure I hit the essentials, follow up with the maybes, and put the definite no's at the bottom of the list as a last resort. Some of the vendors didn't list a website, but most often a Google search turned up something useful. I also read a lot of the reviews for the curricula I was looking at before I left, and that proved very helpful in weeding out the ones I didn't want and narrowing down the ones I might.

5. Register before you go. This seems like an obvious one, but it saves time, hassle, and frustration if you are all squared away prior to arrival.

6. Take every catalog and list, regardless of whether you are interested in what they are selling. I am cheap...notoriously so. One of my cheats is to pour over what the vendors are selling, especially their booklists, and then make them my own. This year I picked up several booklists of what people were selling for reading/literature curricula and I plan to check many of them out from the library rather than spend a ton of money on books to own. This is far more practical and I gleaned a lot of new author ideas that I had never heard of but that I am now excited to introduce to the kids. Also, some of the curricula I liked was easy enough to modify and put together at home without paying all the extra cost of actually purchasing it.

There are more tricks for me to learn yet, I am sure, but this is what I learned my first year in. :) I am already looking forward to next year!

That dirty word....

2011-06-10T11:06:00.000-04:00

....curriculum!!! Ok, so I guess it doesn't count as a dirty word (at least not technically). But I have to say that prior to making my final decisions and purchases I feel like it is a dirty word. I pray hard about my decisions as I choose curriculum, and I will not buy something that I am not at peace with. Having said that, I know that I am not guaranteed an easy road with whatever I choose. After last year and going with Tapestry of Grace for our core curriculum and then in the end not being able to utilize it for the latter half of the school year because of all the medical appointments and issues that popped up....well, maybe I am a little jaded.

So this year I am seeking different things with different criteria that meet our present specific needs, and I am using different means to research them. I went to convention this year (woot woot! more on that in a different post) and I was able to ~~waddle~~ walk through and touch and see all the different curricula that I was leaning towards for this year. I also saw some that I hadn't heard of or seen at all yet, which was wonderful because I chose a couple of those, as well.

There is one thing I am stuck on though, and I haven't gotten the go ahead from Daddy yet. Actually, is has been quite a discussion (when I am brave enough to bring it up!) in the house....foreign language. Ewwww, that seems like a dirty word, too! Anyway, I originally wanted the kids to earn Hebrew or Greek (see, I offered Daddy options!) so that they could read their Bibles in the original language it was written. I was shot down pronto. I understood his argument- there is no practical real-world purpose for them having this language as their second language, as it isn't used in the workforce in a way that will benefit them when competing for employment. With the economy the way it is and the eldest of our children being 3 boys who will need to be providers for their families, I caved pretty quickly. So I went on to my second choice while Daddy stuck to his first choice....which brings us to where we are today.

Daddy wants Spanish, I want Mandarin Chinese. We both want Rosetta Stone (whew! At least that part is easy!). Now, something you have to understand about Daddy is that he is pretty non-confrontational. Could I sway him to do what I want by browbeating the issue? Yes. Am I going to do that? No. I still working on that whole submission thing. So while I am willing to present my case to him I refuse to force him to do what I want him to do rather than allow him to make the final decision. That is why I fear to bring it up- I think one of these times when the issue comes up I am going to be shot down with, "It's going to be Spanish, period," and I really just don't want to hear that!

So here we are, at an impasse of sorts and I wanted to hear some unbiased opinions. Below are the arguments Daddy has for wanting Spanish (that he has verbally said to me) and the arguments I have for wanting Mandarin.

Daddy for Spanish:
1. We do live in FL and have a large Spanish-speaking population. Spanish makes it practical as a second language for employment and every day life.
2. Spanish is a common second language to learn today.
3. Spanish is "easy" to learn.

Mommy for Mandarin:
1. Mandarin is spoken by the highest number of people in the world today.
2. Mandarin is spoken by one of the leaders in industry (China) which makes it a marketable second language to know.
3. Not everyone speaks Mandarin in the US as a second language, which gives a huge advantage in many employment situations.
4. Mandarin is symbols rather than letters, and may appeal to the children more because of that, thus making it easier and more fun to learn.
5. There are many opportunities and curricula for Bible that focus on ministry to China (e.g. the one I have my eye on ) and would tie in nicely with Mandarin as our foreign language.
6. I want to learn it with them!

So what do you think? Am I way off? Have I jumped off the deep end? Are their other things we haven't thought about? I would love your input!!!

Are YOU talking to ME?!

2011-06-09T22:38:00.000-04:00

When we started our homeschool year, the kids were attending a sign language class for free at the local library that we eventually had to cut out of the schedule. I had no idea while we were attending that class exactly how much we would need it just a little ways down the road. If I had known, I probably wouldn't have chosen to cut that out of our busy schedule!

With Scooter being nonverbal (which by the way he can now say "dada"!), we have been looking for a means to communicate fluently with him. After looking at a lot of programs online and hearing from friends about the books/programs that worked for them, I felt like I was back to where I started. The issues were different with each program I looked at. Some were too expensive, some only hit on a few words Scooter didn't know yet, some covered words that aren't going to help us communicate with Scooter unless we take a field trip to the farm....it seemed like there wasn't anything out there that fit our needs just right.

Right about that time my brain managed to come up for air from my hCG induced stupor to realize that we had an incredible public library (or 10!) that I could look into for materials. Duh! So today I did just that, and believe it or not, struck gold.

There were a lot of books there to choose from, and even a few videos, but in the end there were two books that are great for filling in the small gaps we have with the common toddler phrases and words that Scooter doesn't already know (there really aren't that many).

Simple Signs

By: Cindy Wheeler

My First Book of Sign Language

By: Joan Holub

Then there was the persistent problem I had with "the rest". I still needed a book to help me with all those other words. The words I mean are ones like patient, (I) want, potty....there are a lot of words that I know Scooter would say if he could and those were the words I was in pursuit of a book for. That's when I found this:

Random House Webster's Concise American Sign Language Dictionary

By: Elaine Costello, Ph.D.

This book has got it all! It is a dictionary (obviously) with illustrations on how to sign the words and descriptions of the signs in case the pictures are not enough to understand what the pictures are trying to portray. I think this book is going to have everything I need (and then some!) to teach Scooter how to sign what he is trying to say effectively.

Instead of feeling like beating my head against the wall, I now feel empowered and can hardly put these books down! What a huge relief to have these tools in my hands, and for free!

Here's Your Sign

2011-06-07T11:12:00.000-04:00

Ok, so this post really has no relevance to Jeff Foxworthy's "Here's your sign" jokes, but it was all I could come up with. :)

Scooter is still not talking at 17 months. His vocabulary consists of "mama" which sometimes means momma and sometimes means a plethora of other things ranging from chicken to giveme. He has this phrase/sound that he does that sounds kinda like "wasthish" and is, again, used for everything. He babbles some now that he has tubes in his ears, but it isn't the consonant-vowel combinations we need him to use to form speech in an intelligible manner. It is more like a lot of "wasthishmamawasthishwasthish" with hands gestures to try to indicate what he wants to convey to you.

On the flip side, this kid is smart. I mean, he is smart. Even C-dub who has a "superior intelligence" when tested didn't do most of the stuff this kid does at this age. It is clear Scooter wants to communicate but can't.

Which leads me to this....how do I teach him? He knows a lot of signs and has been signing for a while now, but we have focused on the "baby" signs like eat, more, please, thank you, all done, etc. He is way past that intellectually and I want to give him more to work with, but I don't know sign language! We have taught him all of his signs based on ASL rather than modified or baby signs, so that he can actually use them in the real world should that opportunity arise. Are there any programs out there that are awesome at teaching sign language (that are also affordable!) with words than toddlers need to know? I have a small army of children who are eager and willing to learn signs themselves and teach them to Scooter (what a blessing!) but we don't know what we are doing! Any help would be much appreciated!

Not Me Monday

2011-06-06T22:32:00.000-04:00

So there is only one thing I can think of to share for Not Me Monday at this late hour running on the fumes of an already sapped pregnancy brain...

Snake has sensory issues and hates getting his hair cut. He will avoid it at all cost. So when I mention it being time for a haircut and that it isn't an option, I am pretty flexible in how he gets his hair done (unless it is around picture time!). For the last several haircuts Snake has been begging to get his hair cut "like daddy's". This translates to having a receding hairline that results in two small bald spots toward the front of his hairline. I know this because I asked what a haircut like Daddy's looks like. Bwahahaha...ahem, I mean...anyway....

So I have never indulged him, and for whatever reason Daddy felt compelled to give Snake his way this go around. It looked like this:

The boys (Daddy and Snake) were not happy with the outcome, so Snake asked to have his head shaved bald...as in Bic bald. Daddy wasn't biting on that one, but as he shaved the rest of his head to even things out Daddy decided to be goofy in the process. This is what resulted:

HAHAHA!!!! Snake asked to keep it like that for church (the haircut incident happened Saturday night) and Daddy deferred to me. I didn't care- let the boy sport the grandpa look! So here we are Monday....and he is still looking just like this! I haven't had a chance to fix his 'do, so he has been all over town looking like this!

Update on Scooter

2011-06-01T15:56:00.000-04:00

So it has been a while since I updated you on Scooter's medical, uh, stuff. That certainly doesn't mean that there hasn't been anything going on around here with it. Although I am using this blog as a means to chronicle his journey from birth with dysfibrinogenemia, I still want you all to read it rather than be bored to tears! Here is the latest....

The neurologist had recommended a full evaluation by an occupational therapist, a speech therapist, and a physical therapist.

Immediately after the speech therapist evaluated him, she began weekly sessions with him an hour at a time. We have a long way to go to get Scooter to be verbal, stop the drooling, and to even eat correctly. Scooter currently wears a bib at all times because he does not hold his mouth closed...ever. There hasn't been any progress there whatsoever. He has begun to chew his food sometimes, but more often than not still sucks his food or swallows it whole. Speech has made very mild improvements, but not because of therapy. I will get to that in a minute.

The occupational therapist felt Scooter would benefit from OT twice a week, but felt that he would benefit even more from PT. We are still stuck in the red tape of insurance to see what they will approve for payment, so he hasn't even begun that yet.

The physical therapist, ironically, said he didn't need PT at the center and said that we could do several exercises with him at home and that would be enough. She said the few things she would recommend could be incorporated into his OT easily and save us a trip (thank you!). She did hit on a few things that were of issue, including that his abdominal muscle running up the center of his belly is bulging, meaning he is using that muscle instead of his side muscles. He is also going to need orthotic inserts in his shoes once he hits about 2 years because his legs/feet go in (sorry, I can't think of a better way to describe it!) and need more support. He still walks with his feet spread really wide and his hips jut forward, but overall he has adapted in a way that he is hitting most of his milestones physically when you consider his adjusted age. It isn't that he is doing things the right way, but he is doing them. It is definitely good that he doesn't need the PT, but at the same time kinda frustrating that he is still behind and at this point we aren't making much progress.

Scooter also saw the ENT (did I already tell you that?!) and they recommended tubes in his ears and a sinus culture to try to explain why his nose was always running. It has been a few weeks since his surgery, which was uneventful and short, but no fun. Apparently Scooter has "fragile veins". We dealt with this when he was in the NICU at birth, but I had dismissed it as being because he was a newborn. Uh, no. Scooter has to be transfused before any procedure that may result in bleeding with cryoprecipitate as a precaution. Hence, the need for an IV. It took 3 attempts from 2 nurses to successfully start the IV. Let's just say it wasn't pretty and this is what we have to look forward to any time he has to get this done. :s Fast forward, we got what we needed to done and there was no bleeding- praise the Lord! I am optimistic that he is going to pass his hearing test scheduled for late next month (he failed the test before he got tubes). Since he got the tubes he is babbling more and using more inflection and varied tones in his "speech". There has still been very little to no improvement in his actual speech, meaning that he still doesn't use many consonant or vowels sounds much less combinations of the two. Only time will tell what this is from, but it seems to be more from the hypotonia than anything.

The sinus culture came back with a little surprise I didn't expect. I was hoping that it would come back with something, for the simple fact of wanting to know what was the issue giving the little man such a hard time. What I wasn't expecting was that it was going to come back positive for strep, which has been camped out and living in Scooter's sinuses all this time. Nothing a (not so) little antibiotic can't wipe out. :) Unfortunately, this little bugger can rear its ugly head over and over again. At least we will know what it is next time and how to treat it.

We had gotten the all clear from the ophthalmologist on Scooter needing the eye surgery that was looking to be required for his exotropia, but we were warned at that time that Scooter wasn't in the clear for good, just for the time being. It is frustrating because if he does need to get the surgery down the road, he needs yet another transfusion, which means yet another donor (or few). Although I was thrilled to hear that he didn't need the surgery, I am disappointed now because his eyes are going crazy googly in ways they weren't even going before. He will have a follow-up this month, so hopefully I am fretting about nothing.

We had our follow-up with the neurologist, as well. Everything checked out great...well, except for an elevated CPK level. The good news, there was a lot of yucky stuff excluded including muscular dystrophy and cerebral palsy. The bad news is that there are still no answers and several things that indicate that spinal muscular atrophy could be a very real possibility. More tests followed, and the second round of bloodwork showed normal levels of CPK, which doesn't tell us much in the grand scheme of things, as SMA can come back with normal CPK levels. Only time will tell. We have to wait until mid-July for the genetic tests come back, and even then we may not have all the information that we need. This specialist has definitely been the scariest, and it is so hard to know what to associate with Scooter's dysfibrinogenemia and what is an entirely separate issue. I wish I could see if others with his condition have any similarities.

On the flip side, we have discovered that Scooter is unusually bright cognitively. Several different medical professionals have commented on what we see on a daily basis....Scooter is definitely above average in his intellect. Although that is thrilling, my heart breaks for him right now because he gets so frustrated when his sign language doesn't communicate what he is trying to say and he is not capable of speaking yet. You see the tolerant pleading in his eyes as he babbles to you trying to tell you what he is thinking. ::sigh:: But he is a trooper. God gave him a patience and grace that surpasses anything I have ever experienced in my life.

I think that is it....but I could be missing something. ;) We never have a dull moment with this kid!

God is so faithful!!!!

2011-05-30T22:05:00.000-04:00

I posted last week here about a friend of mine rising money to bring home her little boy, Caleb.

Read her update here. :D

How We Got Our Big Family- Part II

2011-05-27T14:42:00.000-04:00

***Here is where there are details that may be TMI for some or may be inappropriate for young readers. It is critical to understanding our story, however. If you fall into one of those categories, you may want to walk away now.***

Somewhere around May-ish 2009, maybe a little later (I guess I could do the math but, eh) I was feeling this weird tugging, this conviction about using birth control. I had medical issues that necessitated controlling my menstrual cycle with hormonal birth control in a way that kept me from ovulating except 3-4 times a year. Although I had learned about the different forms of birth control in my public school education, I had never given it much, if any, thought in my adult years as to what each method meant in terms of conception.

Rather than get onto a tangent where I speak my mind on the different methods of birth control, I will skip to the bottom line...we (Daddy and I) believe that a child is a human being from the point of conception. Hormonal birth control does not prevent conception (egg and sperm meeting) but rather makes the uterus inhospitable for the fertilized egg to attach. In our opinion, this is parallel to intentional abortion, as it is terminating a pregnancy by not allowng it to thrive.

So having said that, here we were. I was having this conviction that could only be from God because it went against everything I wanted in the flesh. After a few weeks, I broke down and through tears said to Daddy, "I have no idea why I feel this way, but I feel like the Lord is leading me to stop taking birth control and to give Him the control over when and if we conceive." Now, I was only telling Daddy this because 1. I was so bogged down with this conviction I couldn't contain it any longer and 2. I was certain he was going to be my voice of reason and say something to the effect of, "Are you out of your flippin' mind?!?!" Instead, he said, "OK." It was as simple as that. "Ok." Say WHAT?!?!? I started bawling harder! He gently told me that if the Lord was leading me to do something like that, that it was not his place to stand in the way of it. Did I mention already how much neither Daddy or I wanted to expand our family? Oh, I guess I did.

And so it was done. Sorta. There were a lot of tears (on my part), a lot of comforting (from Daddy), a lot of arguing with God, and a lot of Gideon moments. In the next week I prayed harder than I remember praying in my life, and every time the Lord lovingly said, "Yes, this is the path I want you to walk down," I would pray again and ask, "Are you sure?" It was this comical tug-of-war where God drew His line in the sand and I kept trying to erase it and make my own line. I prayed for sign after sign, just like Gideon but worse! Over and over the Lord conceded to my demands, showing me the signs I asked for.

There was nothing at all that made sense about starting over, nothing. My husband was at this time unemployed, having just shut down his business and was looking futilely for work and we had no income whatsoever. The last baby had nearly killed me. I was overworked and overstressed and beyond my limits as it was with the 5 children I had. The surgery I had after Smash was aggressive and the doctors weren't even sure I could have any more children. Family and friends would have a field day tearing us apart on the issue, I just knew it! There simply was not even a shred of logic that supported having more children.

I remember the breaking point vividly. I had prayed that morning that God would be uber patient with me, being the stupid human that I was, and that He would make it so obvious to me that this was His will that even I couldn't misunderstand it. We were at church one Sunday and ~~we were~~ I was still wrestling with the decision of whether or not to discontinue using birth control. Every single thing that Pastor said was baby or children related. After 20 or so references of baby this and children that, I had to turn my head to look at Daddy. As he raised his eyebrows at me I just smiled and resigned myself to knowing what I had to do. But no, that wasn't what I had asked for, now was it? I had asked God to show me beyond any doubt that this was what He wanted. So what was the sermon on that day? You guessed it....Gideon. ::sigh:: Yes, this was defnitely what the Lord wanted from us; that much was made very clear.

Later that night Daddy said to me, "You know you haven't given up control yet." I was confused, and then realized that he was telling me that I now had to take action and actually put feet to my words. I had to stop using birth control and trust God with that aspect of my life. My thoughts were something along the lines of, "Ok, fine. Maybe God isn't so much wanting me to get pregnant as He is wanting me to concede control to Him. I might not even get pregnant! Maybe being faithful to follow through will be all that the Lord asks of me." That night I discontinued my birth control and very shortly thereafter I was pregnant with Scooter. I cried, Daddy smiled. I got over it and we both eagerly awaited the birth of our newest addition.

Because of the nature of the birth control I used, I was not sure when I had conceived, but I knew that it had to have been within the last couple weeks. I went to the doctor and he asked when my last menstrual cycle was and I told him I just wasn't sure. He ordered an ultrasound to get a good idea of how far along I was so we could have an accurate due date. Turns out, I had been pregnant for 3 weeks before I went off of birth control! Considering the fact that I only ovulated every 3-4 months, that there was serious doubt that I could even conceive again, and that I was on birth control, this was clearly a child sent from God and that I was going to be having another child, whether I was on board or not! Oh the irony!

Over the next 8 or so months, I never once experienced morning sickness in any capacity. Having always been brutally ill when pregnant with my other children, I knew that this was my reward from my Father for my faith and obedience. Daddy was also rewarded with a biological son, after 3 daughters. I think as a parent we can all relate to wanting at least one of each gender child (biologically) to see what they would look like, act like, etc. Scooter was the first of my children to be born with any complications, as well. At the time I was so scared and upset and confused as to why the Lord would lead me to this place, to bring a child into this world, and some of my first memories of him were struggling to breath and connected to so many tubes and wires that I couldn't even hold him for days. Again, the Lord was being faithful, even in my doubt. Because of the intubation, Scooter's dysfibrinogenemia was discovered. Had this not been revealed, he could have bled out when they circumcised him days after his birth. To this day the medical professionals we encounter are amazed that with no medical history of any bleeding disorders Scooter was diagnosed in infancy the way he was with such a rare condition. All of our needs for Scooter were met before we needed them and far above our needs. We were given clothes, a crib, dresser, changing table....you name it, it was provided through beautiful hand-me-downs. Half of the clothes I received still had tags on them!

God did a wonderous work in our lives and the lives of so many around us over the course of that pregnancy. We saw that the Lord wanted us to allow Him to be in control of the size of our family and the timing of our children. I don't pretend to think that the path we have taken is the only way. God has a plan for each of us, and that is between a man and God. It is clear that God calls us all to a higher purpose than our own and that His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8). When we take heed of that calling the rewards are great and beyond measure. If we ignore that calling, we will have to answer for that one day and we shortchange ourselves of all that God had planned for us.

We were so blessed with Scooter and enjoy him more than we could have ever imagined. I actually found myself eager to become pregnant again when Scooter was around 11 months old, which was a state I never thought I would be in again. As we await the arrival of our sweet baby girl, I am again amazed at the privilege the Lord has blessed me with. I look forward to watching our family grow as God sees fit, and strive to raise a small army for His kingdom in a manner that is worthy of the one true King.

How We Got Our Big Family- Part I

2011-05-26T22:32:00.002-04:00

Being that we have 6 (7) children and one on the way, it is routine to get all of the oohs and aahs and stares (and comments!) when we go anywhere. It makes it that much more inviting for people to gawk because I look much younger than my 31 years, so people lose all sense of etiquette when they see me with 6 children in public. I admit, even when everyone is cleaned up, hair brushed, and behaving, we do make for quite a sight. Sometimes it starts with someone complimenting the baby on his beautiful eyes and then they look up and notice 5 other sets of gorgeous peepers staring back at them. Inevitably they wind up speechless or repeating, "God bless you!"

Anyway, I was thinking of this the other day and realized that I never shared with you how we got our large family. Well, I think it is obvious how we got our large family, and each of them is obviously a blessing and here simply by the grace of God. What I mean is, how we decided to have a large family. It is actually a funny story, to be honest. Although now that I think about it, I didn't see it as very funny at the time.

We had the 3 boys, C-dub, B, and Snake, which were from my first marriage. I was fresh out of that marriage, the ink on the divorce papers not yet dried. I wanted to get my tubes tied pronto. I knew without a doubt that I never wanted to go there again, that remarriage was not for me, and I certainly wasn't having more children with another man. I was raised in a Christian household and combined with being a product of divorce, I knew I just didn't want to go there. The way I saw it, I was the one who messed up and since God hated divorce, I had blown my one shot. Daddy and I had been dating for a short period of time then, and he knew where I stood on these matters but asked me to hold off on getting my tubes tied for just a little while. If I still wanted it in a month (?I think that was the timeframe) then he was behind me 100% and would support my decision to not get married or have more children. I loved Daddy so very much, and I agreed to hold off. If he could love me despite my refusal to get married at any point in the future, I could do this one thing for him. In that short period of time, that man changed my mind on marriage, children, the whole kit and kaboodle! I remember vividly that this was in January (I canceled the surgery days before it was scheduled) and in July we were married and trying to conceive.

The Lord blessed us quickly, and we were pregnant with LiviLou immediately. Now, we weren't living for the Lord at that time (which is a whole different post!) but the good Lord was working in our lives just the same, using our sin to achieve His purposes. Our marriage started out a tumultuous one. Daddy's family tried their best to embrace me, but I was a duck of a different color to them and certainly not their first choice for him. Daddy and I had brought a lot of sin and those consequences with us into our marriage. LiviLou was born and I quickly suffered from post-partum depression. You would think that I would recognize it for what it was having had 4 children at this time, but I was clueless. I had never experienced it with any of the other kids. All of my children have been early, 34-35 weekers, and until LiviLou there had been no problems. This time I had to leave my baby at the hospital for almost a week. I was devastated. I would sit and stare at the pink receiving blanket laid out on my bed and cry for hours. I knew my child was safe and sound at the hospital, but I felt like I had lost her.

LiviLou came home and was a healthy vibrant baby, but my postpartum depression was still going unchecked and my marriage was swiftly going down the tubes. I didn't think there was anything salvageable left. Daddy and I were toying with the idea of separating. Then the unthinkable happened...I found out I was pregnant again. 13 months after LiviLou was born, we welcomed Smash into our lives. The delivery was anything but routine. I gave birth to Smash with no doctors, nurses, or other professionals (no, I don't count) in the room. I immediately had to have emergency surgery because my placenta had grown into my uterus, something called placenta accreta. Blood transfusions followed and I nearly lost my own life. Again, I had been scheduled to have my tubes tied the day after I had Smash and again the good Lord intervened to ensure that that didn't happen. The surgery had to be pushed off a minimum of 6 months because of the trauma and blood loss. 6 months later I had no insurance and the tubal ligation was just wishful thinking. It didn't matter; I knew I was done having children and Daddy couldn't agree more.

Smash was 20 months old when Daddy and I agreed to divorce. It was a slow progression seeped in sin and selfishness, and eventually we threw our hands up and officially filed. Long story short, we reconciled about 3 weeks after filing. It hasn't been smooth sailing every day since and there was a second time where I thought we would divorce down the road, but things have changed a lot since that day that Daddy asked if I wanted to give it another go.

We still didn't want any more children. For us, that was an easy one- our family was complete with 5 children in it, 6 with KRose. I had given birth to 5 children in 7 years and I was ready to have my body back to myself, and a little bit of sanity wouldn't hurt! Not to mention, 5 children in this day and age would certainly qualify us as already having a "large" family.

Then we turned our lives over to God. In early 2009 we recommitted our lives to Christ wholeheartedly (we had both been Christians since we were small but had strayed in our walk) and began making radical changes.

To Be Continued.....

Remember that co-op I taught for the first time this year?

2011-05-24T15:22:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I never really got to blog about it because it was a lot more work than I imagined, and a lot more time consuming. The gist of that experience was that I LOVED it! I also loved my aide, who God graced me with as a perfect match for my temperment and needs.

Throughout the year, I was able to see her heart for adopting a son which was a journey the Lord led her to after several hard losses and heartbreaks. I was able to talk to her about the process of adopting (which I knew nothing about) and I listened in awe as I watched her yearning for this little boy who she had never met pour out with so much love I fell in love with him myself. Every week I would ask if she had gotten the call, how much longer would it be, was there anything new on the radar. Every week there were small updates, but not "the call".

Well, that time has come. I am so stoked to share that "the call" has come. It is her turn to bring her little boy, whom she is naming Caleb (yippee!), home. This child who has a home and a family today where yesterday he had none, this little miracle that through tears and prayer and trial is finally ready to meld into who and what God has called him to be, he is ready to come home!

There is just one small catch....adoption is expensive! They are still $6,100 short of the amount needed for Caleb to come home. Please prayerfully consider donating to their cause. I know this family personally. I have seen the godly way they love and raise their children. Caleb couldn't have a better home. There is no amount too small. Every bit helps. And lift this family up in prayer as they continue on this journey of love. <3

Read all about it here: Caleb Maser

You Call That Homeschooling?!?!?

2011-05-24T11:19:00.001-04:00

One of my goals when I began blogging was to chronicle our 1st year of homeschooling. What a glorious mess that has been! Although we started the year off great, we could have never anticipated the way our school-year would play out and the demands the medical needs of the children would place on our time. Soooo, our school year has not looked the way I first anticipated, and I am ok with that. Oh, I wasn't always ok with that, but the Lord dealt with my heart on that one over time. He reminded me that He was the one who called me to homeschool and He was going to be the one who would define our standrds for success, not the school board and certainly not me.
So anyway, we have become quite the eclectic mix when it comes to our schooling methods and tools. We have taken the approach that life is learning and seized as many opportunities to supplement our sit-down-at-a-desk curriculum to get us through the rest of the year.

Something we did recently along these lines was visiting a U-Pick farm for tomatoes. It was a rather spontaneous decision, but one I am so glad that our family made! We drove to a (semi)local farm where they are currently running a special of $1 for a 5 gallon bucket of tomatoes that you pick yourself. When we got there, we had never picked a single tomato in our life! We slathered on the sunscreen, gave the kids a good idea of what a good tomato looked like and got to picking.

What does picking maters look like in a family with 6 kids? A little like this:

A few hours and 9 buckets later, we had our haul and were heading home to process our 45 gallons of tomatoes. How many tomatoes does 45 gallons yield? Well, this was about half of them (notice Daddy still unloading tomatoes?):

So how does this tie into homeschooling? Was any of it actually educational? Am I just stretching in desperation to find things to call schooling? I don't think so. While talking to Daddy the other night, I realized exactly how much the children learned in this process, on top of the wonderful family day that we had together.

Things the children learned through tomato picking:

1. What a ripe tomato looks like and how to pick it without damaging or bruising it
2. What a damaged, bruised, or pest infested tomato looks like
3. What a non-ripe tomato looks like and why to pick some of these, too
4. How to package and transport tomatoes so that the weight of the tomatoes in a 5 gallon bucket does not bruise and thus ruin the tomatoes
5. What a red-winged blackbird was...we saw one in the tomato fields as we were picking and the kids noticed and asked about it
6. Entrepreurial skills- the kids sold tons of tomatoes out front of our house at 5 for $1, making $41 in a couple hours. They made the signs, manned the stands, and split the proceeds based on the amount of work put into the tomato stand. Daddy even got to be the main teacher in this adventure. :)
7. How to process tomatoes- although the adults did the work on this, the kids were hanging underfoot watching and learning how to boil the tomatoes for peeling, core them, and store them.
8. What you can and cannot easily make from fresh tomatoes. Again, this was more of a learning as Mommy worked kind of thing, but as a family we learned that some things are not as tasty with the fresh tomatoes as others.
9. Generosity and charity- we were able to amply share with our church family which brought great joy to the children's hearts.

I know I could go on with my list, but I think you get the point. It is safe to say that the kids learned quite a bit in this excursion, and many others like it throughout the school year. We may not have been able to sit down and do science, history, or geography in the way I imagined, but in the end I feel the kids have had a much richer education and will retain far more than if we had sat at a desk and did bookwork.

Truth be told, I really don't wanna talk about it

2011-05-19T22:14:00.000-04:00

So when I last left you we had just lost 4 chicks to what we now are confident was a raccoon...or more than one raccoon. Here is the cage we had them in when they were robbed from their sweet cozy home.

I am not sure if you can get a good picture of how small the slats were on the cage from these pictures,

but I am now confident that the coons pulled the chicks through one of the corners where there wasn't much to secure the metals sides. The space is still small, but between feathers stuck in the corners and the fact that, ahem, pieces of the chicks were left behind, this seems to make the most sense.

I really think they pulled the chicks out through the corners and consumed them elsewhere.

Anyway, the same day that we woke up to the chicks being gone, Daddy and I decided to replace them with the last 4 chicks that the lady who sold them to us had. We were back up to 5 chicks and we were calling anyone and everyone we could to get input on what happened to our pets and why. "No idea, doesn't make sense" was the consistent response.

Well, that was ok. We were on guard now. I got a large dog crate and decided to put the hamster cage with the chicks in it inside the dog crate. Nothing was getting in to get my sweet little chicks this time.

And it worked. No casualties that night. We had decided to wrap the dog crate in hardware cloth on all sides, top and bottom and use this until we had built a coop and the chicks were a little bigger. I was wanting to keep putting the hamster cage inside the dog crate but Daddy was confident that nothing could get in once we were done wrapping that bad boy up, so we put the chicks in without the hamster cage. I wanted more zip ties to secure the hardware cloth tighter. He thought we were good.

I hate to say "I told you so", so I don't usually. This time was different. It was not one of my more graceful (or submissive!) moments, but I was ticked at these stinkin' coons and ticked that no one listened to me. After the first night in the new digs we woke up to only 3 chicks in the cage. Same mysterious disappearance as before, minus any heads. The coons peeled back the hardware cloth just enough to get their hand in and the chicks out.

So now we are down to 3 chicks, and Momma took over on the cage. I zip tied that thing like nobody's business. We haven't had any more issues, although I am certain it isn't because those stupid coons haven't tried. This is what we have them in now:

{insert picture of fortified dog crate here}

Ok, so I went to get a picture for you of the current housing arrangements for our now 4 week old chicks, but my battery died in my camera...and I can't find the charger. Naturally. So I will share that with you another day, hopefully when I have it a bit more together. :)

R.I.P Little Chickies

2011-05-10T21:56:00.000-04:00

Yes, it is true. We have a casualty (or 4) last night. UGH!

Let me first say that we live in the city. We do have our backyard fence butted against a bayou, so we have critters galore. However, I know several people who live in the same area as us who have chickens and possibly even more critters (one friend lives on 10 acres of wooded property) and they have never had an incidence.

Having established that, I thought we had our newest addition to our zoo safely ensconced (I have always wanted to use that word in a conversation!) in the converted hamster cage we have been using as a brooder. The chicks have been doing marvelously since we got them Saturday without the slightest incident. All of the spaces between bars were so small that we were confident nothing could get into the cage, and we had been putting a heavy piece of plywood on top of the cage each night so that the chicks had shade in the morning. Until last night....

The kids have been wanting to hold the chicks a lot, and we have been letting them. Problem is that they kept forgetting to replace the piece of plywood. Late last night Daddy mentioned that the plywood wasn't resting on the top of the cage, and I said I was fine leaving it that way for the night since the only purpose it was serving was to offer shade in the morning and I knew I would be up in time to handle it before the sun was beating on the chicks. ::sigh:: Turns out the plywood was serving more than one purpose and we didn't realize it.

Daddy was indeed correct...the plywood needed to be on the top of the cage, it seems, but not for shade. It was blocking the one door to the cage that didn't have a lock on it. When we got up there was only one chick left in the cage and (this part is graphic) the head of another chick in the feeder. :'( We couldn't find any other evidence of what happened, but by the info we had it was clear that there weren't any other survivors. Later in the day we discovered 5 feathers by a tree in our yard and fresh claw marks on the trunk.

We have speculated all day on what happened and what type of animal did the crime, and in the end we have concluded that it must have been a raccoon. How, we are still not positive. Both doors were closed, so it is possible that the coons closed the door behind them (sounds silly, I know) or that they pulled them through at the corners where there is a small gap, which still seems so unlikely. I don't know. We may never know.

The kids were devastated, naturally. I figured we would have to go through the whole circle of life story with these new pets; I didn't figure it would be 3 days after we got them!

And so, a moment of silence for our little chickadees....

Not Me Monday: Poultry, Fairy Tales, and Improvisation

2011-05-09T08:53:00.000-04:00

Ok, so essentially there is only one thing to share this Not Me Monday about what I (and my family) did not do throughout the week, but it is well worth it.

We did not decide on a whim to run by a feed store to inquire about how to order baby chicks and how much they would cost. Daddy was not encouraging the visit and smiling as we embarked on our adventure, under the guise that it was Mother's Day Weekend, not just on Sunday and whatever Mommy wanted, Mommy got. We did not get a phone number from the feed store (that doesn't sell chicks whatsoever) for a chick farm right around our corner. After calling the chick farm and Daddy laughing his tail off at my telephone skills, we were definitely not headed over to the the chick farm to see these little boogers. Daddy was definitely not on board with this trip, nor was he the one driving. ;)

Before we walked into the chick farm, he did not say anything remotely like, "We are not gonna buy any chicks, just check them out. We don't have what we need to care for chicks yet." I did not readily and hardily agree.

Once in the chick farm and after many, many questions to the keeper of the chicks, Smash did not come up with the biggest brown puppy dog eyes you ever did see and ask Daddy, "Can we pleeeaaase get some chicks?" I did not shoo her away and tell her that those puppy dog eyes wouldn't be working on us no way no how! I did not then proceed to turn my own puppy dog eyes (unbeknownst to me, of course!) on Daddy and explain that we could pull it off and had plenty of time to get the stuff we needed since they were only 2 weeks old. We definitely did not put those chicks in our car and bring them home with us then and there.

Nope, not us! We are city folk and would never ever act otherwise!

The kids are not over the moon about their new "pets" and are not debating over who gets to feed them this time or whose turn it is for the watering duties.

We did not take the hamster cage (RIP Caramel) and turn it on its side and call it a chick brooder, cuz that would just be beyond frugal and downright cheapo depot.

Daddy did not wake up Mother's Day morning with buyer's remorse, despite be a willing party the evening before. His story on the actual progression of events that led to our chick purchase did not mysteriously change into a story that was only vaguely familiar to what actually happened. I did not let him believe his version, hug him and kiss his pouting face, and thank him again for letting us get them. :)

A Hodgepodge of Goodies!!!

2011-05-06T14:18:00.000-04:00

Although I intended to blog more this week, I didn't anticipate it being such an emotional and overwhelming week! More on that later, but in the meantime, there are a lot of neat things to share!

On April 26th, B turned 11!!! My how the time flys! It is both sad and exciting as I watch him grow from a boy to young man.

We also discovered this past week that we will be having a sweet baby girl in mid-September!!!

See her head on the right side of the screen and her hand tucked so sweetly up under her cheek? Yeah, you kinda need to know what you are looking at. She is beautiful to me, though!

Then there is the garden. Boy oh boy could I go on about the garden! We have been able to harvest zuchinni several times so far, and we just yesterday picked a decent little bunch of green beans for the first time.

Yeah, we have been doing just fine around here. :D

It's Alive!!!

2011-04-27T13:13:00.000-04:00

I have written this post at least 5 times, but I never finish it and thus never post it, and by then the garden has changed so much! Even as I am writing this I realize that the pictures are so different than what it looks like now.

We we thrilled to see this flower on our zucchini plant. We just thought it was a sign of life (which in our garden's case we really needed!) but over time we have discovered that the zucchini blossoms are on the end of the actual zucchini fruit, so the more flowers we see the more fruit we will be picking!

Here is a full view of our garden, which all in all measures 10 ft. x 30 ft. It looks wilted, but it does that every day at the hottest time of the day (which is when I took these pictures). In the morning and evening everything looks nice and perky. :) On the left you will see our tenderbush bean plants that were just starting to take off. We planted these from seeds directly in the soil in the garden, and they did awesome. Just above those are 4 new bell pepper plants we bought and transplanted. Hopefully they take off. To the right are our onions. In the middle you can see the row to the far right, which is our cauliflower. I will explain that nightmare in a minute. The row to left of that is the zucchini. Only one of the plants survived the initial planting, and the other plants are just getting going in this picture. They are huge now! To the far left in the middle is our bed of weeds. We haven't done much with those just cause we aren't planting there yet and the weeds are so pervasive that we can't keep up. All the way in the back, at the top of the photo next to our trash cans that one of the children conveniently forgot to put away, is our sad row of broccoli. More on that with the cauliflower.

Here is a better picture of out onions. They had just weathered a windy day, so they are almost all leaning. Some of them are leaning still, but some are back to standing straight up.

A closeup of out tenderbush beans...

The zucchini and cauliflower...

Our beautiful zucchini plant :D

More zucchini starting. The one on the right we picked when it was about a foot long.

Oh yeah! We have a jalapeno that is hiding by the broccoli, and we have several peppers on it that are getting bigger by the day!

And then there are the peas.

Although they are forming pods, I have no idea how. These things have been an enigma. They sprout great, start climbing like champs, and then start dying from the bottom up. This is our second or third planting of those, and I am honestly ready to just leave it be.

The cauliflower and broccoli have had something eating at them since they were super small. We have never really seen anything on them, and we treated the whole garden with Sevin, which we were told was very effective and safe and our research supported the same. Anyway, the leaves were still getting chewed up, and bad. Just the other day B was weeding in the garden and pulled out these nasty grub things. Mystery solved! We had suspected worms, but had never seen any so we didn't want to treat the food with even more things until we knew. Anyway, we trucked it down and got some BT and it seems (fingers crossed!) that the BT is helping. I hope that the broccoli and cauliflower hang in there and finally produce.

I want to plant tomatoes and lettuce in the weeded up area, but that will have to wait until we can keep up with what we have now! We have raccoons and I fear they will eat all our tomatoes. I just don't have it in me to battle with those varmins!

I hope to get updated pictures posted soon. It seems like our garden has taken off like crazy (thank the Lord!) and is growing so much daily. It has been a fun learning experience for the kids, too. They don't necessarily enjoy the labor, but they love the fruits of their labor and seeing results from their own hands.

Happy Good Friday!!!

2011-04-22T08:32:00.000-04:00

Something I had only learned about last year and have been itching to try since is this awesome recipe for resurrection cookies.

http://annieshomepage.com/resurrectioncookies.html

The kids are stoked to try them and I am excited to be able to put the concept of the death and resurrection into a format that they will solidly remember. I know that I always remember things just a little better when there is a yummy treat to help me!

We will also be trying a recipe this Easter morning that I just found and has the same concept.

http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/2011/04/my-favorite-easter-breakfast.html

As we are remembering the death of Christ today, we are looking forward even more to celebrating His resurrection on Sunday. While our family certainly enjoys painting eggs and pretending the Easter Bunny makes his rounds, we always remember the reason we are celebrating and put our focus on the death and resurrection of Christ.

Please share if there are any traditions your family has for this weekend. I love trying new things and I keep finding such awesome ideas out there!

Not Me Monday: Baking Bread, Losing My Mind, and Caffeine

2011-04-18T16:02:00.000-04:00

Welcome back to Not Me Monday, where I confess all of my bumbling as a mother of many children by simply denying them. :D

I did not try to use a glass pie dish as a broiler pan, and I did not proceed to pour cold water into a hot glass dish thereby shattering it. (Remember I promised to tell you more about the broiler pan here?) I would never do this, seeing as this is one of the oldest mistakes in the book! I know better!

I did not refill my son's medications ($450 worth) and then proceed to "misplace" it. I have not been frantically searching for it all weekend while he was not getting his meds only to realize that I hadn't actually refilled the meds I thought I had, and therefore hadn't really lost them. :s I didn't call up with my head held in shame to the pharmacy to refill them, for real this time. This has not been the story of my entire pregnancy.

I did not make my husband "claim" a bottle of juice he drank directly out of saying no one could drink out of that bottle anymore since he would be sharing germs if they did. I did not then use that rule in my favor a few days later by quickly swigging out of the Pepsi 2-liter in order to claim the last of the caffeine in the house as mine. I would never do that; I share. Daddy did not raise an eyebrow at me as I greedily chugged and shake his head, both of us knowing full well that if he actually wanted that soda he would be more than happy to drink after me.

I did not boil 2 dozen eggs to make deviled eggs for my son's 13th birthday party, only to abandon all plans to make them and pretend that they were always intended to use for Easter egg dying this week.

Nope, not me! :)

I'm Baaaaack...and making bread!

2011-04-17T22:38:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I have to apologize. I didn't give ya'll a heads up on the fact that I was going to be MIA. Truth is, I didn't realize I was going to be MIA. I look forward to getting back on track and posting regularly. What better way than to share my bread making adventures. Can you hear my eyeballs rolling to the back of my head?

Ok, let me just tell it like it is. I am not domestic. Like, at all. When I reunite with people from high school they about pass out when they hear that I am a stay-at-home-mom....to 6 kids. So to even fathom myself actually making bread is, well, outside the box.

But I was determined. I wanted to learn to make my own bread because everyone at church was doing it and had nothing but awesome stories to tell. I also want to save money anywhere and everywhere I can! I was intimidated, but I was up for a good laugh, if nothing else!

I found this link on one of my favorite websites and figured that since it said "easy" I was golden. How could I mess it up?! So I purchased the required items from the grocery store:

3 Tbsp yeast
3 Tbsp kosher salt
6 Cups warm water
13 Cups flour

The concept itself is pretty simple.

Mix the salt, yeast, and water. (This is where I was scared because I just knew I would kill the yeast. I didn't :)
Add the flour and mix, making sure everything is well incorporated.
Cover loosely (I started with a lid put on cockeyed, then upgraded to plastic wrap) and let set on the counter for 2 hours.
Watch this bad boy grow! Trust me, it grows and grows and grows!

Here was where we started:

We quickly realized that our yeast was working just fine, but our pan was not! I scrambled to find the largest bowl we had to transfer my dough to, and then freaked trying to figure out if I would mess up my dough if I moved it mid-rise. The way this thing was expanding, I had no choice! It was fine. ;)

The rest is pretty simple. The dough keeps up to 2 weeks in the refrigerator and you simply grab a handful of dough as needed. I am too cheap to buy official bread making supplies until I know for sure I 1. can and 2. will make bread successfully and regularly. So I improvised.

Grab a glob of dough off your huge glob and shape it into the loaves you want it. I went with 2 balls of dough for the first time around. LIBERALLY dust the pan with cornmeal (here is where I improvised by using a pizza pan rather than the fancy schmancy bread peel). I learned the hard way that if you do not use enough cornmeal, your bread will stick, and that is sad (and hard to clean up!).

Let it rise for 20 minutes. Yes, that is my lunch in the background. And?!?! ;P After 20 minutes, start your oven to preheating to 450 degrees, and allow the dough to rise another 20 minutes. The dough will rise for 40 minutes total.

Now remember I said I don't have the fancy equipment you need, but here (here meaning after the first 20 minutes of rising, or at the beginning of the preheat) is where you would have your baking stone in the oven during the preheat with a broiling pan on the bottom rack. I kept my dough on my pizza sheet and used....well, let's just say a pan on the bottom rack. I promise I will explain that later.

Go ahead and put your loaves in after the 40 minute rise and fill the broiling pan with about 1 cup worth of water. Bake at 450 degrees for 30 minutes.

This is what we ended up with.

I was thrilled! Of course, I don't have pictures of the debacle that ensued when I tried to pry the loaves off of the pizza sheet, leaving part of each loaf attached to the pan! Or the muscles I had to use to cut the stinking loaves. I about lost it at this point, thinking that the loaves were hard as a rock! I seriously could not get my steak knife into the loaf! I had come all this way and then it was going to be a bust?!?!

In the end, the bread was nice and crusty on the outside, lovely and soft on the inside, and I committed to buying an electric knife immediately! The bread was filling in a way we were not used to with store bought bread, and a lot denser than I imagined it would be. It was delicious, though!

We used the rest of the dough within the 2 weeks following, and each round of baking was easier than the time before. I look forward to trying different recipes and making more bread in the future!

Something a little more upbeat....FINALLY!!!

2011-04-03T21:31:00.000-04:00

I am so sick of talking about medical stuff. How about you? You tired of hearing it yet? Yeah, I thought so. ;) So here is something far lighter, more fun, and a ton messier!

Before we had our school year so shook up, we were taking our sweet time through Tapestry of Grace and loving it. We were studying all things Egyptian, and had just gotten into the pharaohs and burial rituals. One of the activities was to make a tomb for an Egyptian pharaoh, or at least the facial part of it, from paper mache. We never got to that, though we had bought all the materials for craft.

So we finally managed to make some time to try to pick up where we left off, though we will be taking a break indefinitely from TOG overall, and decided to have a playdate/homeschool activity with some of our friends.

Everyone got their balloons ready and taped cardboard around them for our templates. My kids were eager to dive into the gooey mess....their friends were a little more skeptical. ;)

Most of the kiddos got right to work on plastering up their masks....

...and some needed a little more encouragement with the glue that "felt like snot".

In the end they all managed to get their newspaper onto their balloons and we had the shells of the masks. Before we began we discussed the reasons behind the burial rituals of the pharaohs and what the Egyptians believed about pyramids and pharaohs in general. I made sure to emphasize how we know the truth about Jesus being the one true God, and that although the Egyptians thought that pharaohs were gods, we know better. Our family believes it is important to teach our kids that there are a lot of other beliefs out there, but that there is only one Truth.

Next step, painting!!!

FINE...I will give in and do an update on C-dub

2011-04-01T09:51:00.001-04:00

This post has been put off many many times because I felt I wasn't able to write certain parts of it and keep a Christ-like attitude. I think enough time has passed and I am at a point where this post is overdue.

I mentioned many months ago that C-dub was due for a full work-up from a Developmental Pediatrician in order to get a second opinion on a diagnosis. He has been diagnosed from a psychiatrist with ADHD, chronic depression, and social anxiety disorder. Yes, he exhibits symptoms of all of these disorders, but no, I wasn't buying into these diagnoses as what was "wrong" with him. (Yes, that was painful to say "wrong" but I can't figure out a better word to use) So, following my Mom-gut-instinct and after much prayer I made an appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician, a guy so in demand that he takes 6 months to get into! Ok, I could wait so long as he got in. I knew there was something more and I was not going to stop til I got to the bottom of what it really was. So I made the appointment and started the nightmare long wait.

Meanwhile, C-dub continued his care with the psychiatrist he had been seeing for a while and she kept prescribing stimulant after stimulant, despite my protests. I reluctantly consented because I also knew I had to try everything that was reasonable because C-dub was going downhill fast. Every stimulant made his symptoms worse, or solved one problem while making another symptom worse. It was frustrating, and no matter what I said his doctor blew me off! Finally, I had had enough and through clenched teeth I told her I would not be allowing C-dub to take any more stimulants and that I thought he should try a non-stimulant ADHD medication. She agreed and went into this whole schpeel about how that is a great plan and that it would be great for him, yadayadayada. She then embraced it like it was her plan all along and that it is the best med combo for someone like him. Can you hear my teeth grinding at this point? Whatever. She was going to do what I was asking and even if she wasn't listening to me the way I want, I was getting the results I wanted. I still didn't feel like he was getting everything he needed, though.

Then came the bomb. Somehow it came up that C-dub had an appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician. I had no idea she would freak the way she did, being that she is a slight, mild-mannered, downright reserved woman. She was livid...or as livid as a woman like this can get. I informed her that I wasn't buying on the ADHD diagnosis and I just wanted to cover all my bases. I also told her I suspected an autism spectrum disorder of some sort, though I had no idea what. I figured if she was so confident with her skills then she would be more than happy to get a confirmation on her diagnoses. She balked big time and seemed to be so upset that I was seeking a second opinion. She was downright rude and said, "Why do you think autism, because he reads a lot?!" Sheesh, lady! Give me some credit here! Short story, I stood my ground and wasn't canceling that appointment with the developmental pediatrician for nothing!

Fast forward...we met with the Developmental Pediatrician. Now this guy has a reputation. I have a friend who has experience with him and have talked to several others who have dealt with him and they all say the same thing...he doesn't speculate on a diagnosis at any point in the process and you have to go to all 4 appointments before you even have a clue as to what your child is going to be labeled with (if anything). He is good....really good. Which I suppose would account for the 6 month wait to be seen. He is definitely a distinct personality, and hard to read.

So anyway, he starts asking all of these questions from me, and then from C-dub. I balked a bit when C-dub started talking because, well, if you knew C-dub you would understand. Let's just suffice it to say that I will cover some of his behaviors a little later in a separate post. However, it turned into a God send situation. C-dub was classic and displayed most of the behaviors I was trying so unsuccessfully to describe and convey to the doctor. It seemed like the questions were way off base, though, and I finally got frustrated and said. "I don't feel like I am explaining this right. I feel like I am not telling you what you need to know and I fear that you are missing what the real issues are." I truly felt like I was messing it up and was going to walk out of there with nothing at the end of this process. The doctor turned to me and said, "Is C-dub the type of child who does this and that and this?" (He gave several examples that hit the nail on the head; of course I cannot remember the specific examples for you now) My jaw dropped open and I must have looked like an idiot as I starting freaking out and saying, "Yes, yes, you get it! You know what I am saying!" I was so excited that finally someone understood, someone who could actually help C-dub. He smiled a bit (this dude doesn't smile, either, unless it is slightly patronizing so he must have loved my genuine excitement) and continued talking to C-dub. Out of nowhere he turned to me and said, "Have you ever considered that he may have Asperger's Syndrome?"

*cough*sputter*choke*

I kept my cool, but was shocked to hear him 1. mention a possible diagnosis, 2. that it was the same diagnosis that my best friend's daughter received and 3.the only thing I knew about Asperger's Syndrome was that is was misdiagnosed and often. I informed him that I knew little to nothing about it, so no, I hadn't considered it but that I did suspect an autism spectrum disorder of some sort (Asperger's Syndrome is on the autism spectrum). He finished his assessment and we moved to the brief physical exam. I couldn't resist and had to ask him at this point if he was leaning toward Asperger's as a diagnosis. By this time he had slipped back into his doctor mode that his reputation spoke for and gave me this really vague-beat-around-the-bush-distract-you-from-the-question kind of answer. I left it alone, but only because I knew that this guy does NOT usually even throw a clue out there for a diagnosis and that I was lucky to even get the little tidbit I got.

When I got home I googled Asperger's Syndrome and my heart sunk as I read the description. It fit C-dub to a T. I mean, I felt like I was reading about something someone wrote specifically about my child. Why that made me sad, I have no idea, because I suspected something exactly like this for a long time and had stopped at nothing to get the answers I now tentatively had. I have always been one of those people that, as long as I know what I am dealing with, I can deal with it. I hate the unknown. When I know what I am up against, I feel like I can take it on. So why did my heart feel like it was ripping out of my chest?

The diagnosis is certainly not official, far from it. The only reason I even have anything to go on is that God decided to have mercy on me, as He knows I need to be worked into things that He asks of me that are hard (oh there is a whole story behind that one, too!). This doesn't change anything in the grand scheme of things. Even at the end of the road, when the diagnosis comes back as Asperger's (or otherwise), C-dub will still be C-dub, he will still be my firstborn, my first son, my world. It won't change who he is, it will just give us the tools to help him become everything he can be.

So here we are. The next 2 appointments are for extensive testing and the final appointment is to receive the official diagnosis.

This is new frontier, and admittedly, scary frontier. I don't understand why the good Lord thinks I am the one who is capable of raising these children with special needs, why I am worthy to love on and protect and fight for those He holds so dear. I feel so inadequate to be what He has called me to be to them. However, I know I am not alone, that He is my strength, and that in all things He is faithful. My goal is to glorify Him, the Beginning and the End, the Giver of Life. These children were not brought into this world on accident. They aren't some cosmic mistake. They are here for a purpose, and I am simply an instrument that the Lord has chosen to be a part of His greater plan. :)

A Teenager?!?!

2011-03-31T14:23:00.001-04:00

When I had my first child I never gave a second's thought to the day that my son would become an official teenager. I would like to say it has crept up on me, but that would not be the whole truth. The last year I have thought about it incessantly. I have battled fear of losing my child, as you see so often in the world. Best case scenario, I imagined losing my child for a season, as I have heard many of my Christian friends speak of. Well, today is that day....C-dub is 13, officially a teenager.

Happy 13th Birthday, C-dub!!!

{I know I look a mess, but it was the only good picture of C-dub I could find!}

So far, my fears have been unfounded. Ok, granted he only turned 13 today, but so far he is still Momma's little boy. He tried hard to call me "mom", but usually defaults back to "mommy" and can't even say "mom" without it sounding forced. He still says "I love you" and hugs me in front of his peers. He still comes to me when he has a question or needs to talk, no matter how awkward the subject matter. I would like to say it is because we have done right by raising him, but I don't even believe that myself. I think it is the grace of God and His mercy despite all the mistakes we have made. I know we aren't done yet and there is still plenty of time left for him to puch me away. I pray it doesn't come to that, but it wasn't too awful long ago I was a teenager myself and did exactly that to my mother!

For now, I am enjoying the hugs and celebrating the amazing gift that the Lord gave me in my firstborn. What a blessing he is, and I look forward to seeing the man he will become.

Change of plans...

2011-03-26T09:21:00.000-04:00

I feel terrible for my children. Today, and not for the first time, one of the kids said to me, "It was so much different before Scooter came along. We didn't have to go to the hospital so much and we weren't always running around. You were able to do stuff with us more, and we were always doing fun stuff." The kids adore Scooter, they truly do. But the truth of the matter is that the insane demands of Scooter's medical needs have started to take their toll on everyone in the family. All of the doctor's appointments have taken their toll on our homeschool plans for the year, as well. The curriculum I chose at the beginning of the year and that we loved when we started just doesn't work for us anymore. We don't have the luxury of planning on doing school from 9-12 each day, sitting around the table doing cooperative education, drills, and hands-on activities.

So where does that leave us?

Well, I do know I have put it off long enough. Something has to give. The kids do math and reading regularly, vocabulary and language arts a little less regularly, and the other subjects have been pretty much pushed to the wayside. I feel like a huge failure most days when it comes to their education, and then other days I allow myself the grace to accept that some things are beyond my control and acknowledge that they will not be reduced to neanderthals because we are going a little off course temporarily.

So Plan B. We are going to keep on with the math and reading regularly and we are going to keep doing vocabulary kinda regularly, and we are going to pick up science as a group when we can and allow everything else to stay at the wayside for now. And we are going to embrace Unit Studies as we feel like it and on what we feel like. I am not going to put pressure on the kids right now to be perfect on the days that it "works out" to do school, and I am not going to out pressure on myself to be something I cannot be right now. Our world is shaken up. We are going to accept that for what it is and work with what we have. No one is going to fall through the cracks, and who knows, we may learn to love this homeschooling method!

I am in the process of investigation carschooling (hey, the concept makes sense if you live half your life int he car!) but I have not committed to anything in that arena.

I am going to be trying two unit studies from Download N Go, a site I stumbled upon a while ago but have yet to use but have been really wanting to try. The first is about Gardens and the second comes out Monday and is called Easter's Promise. Both are 4 week studies, but they allow us the flexibility to do a day here and there without feeling pressure to...well, anything. :)

Losing track of where I left off

2011-03-24T21:14:00.000-04:00

We have had appointments out the, well, you get the idea, and quite frankly I haven't been blogging our journey the last couple weeks because I am tired of hearing about it...or writing about...or whatever. So I am going to try to catch you up on the gist of things going on with Scooter without boring you to tears. After all, that is one of my main goals of this blog.

He saw an ear, nose, and throat doctor who decided he needed tubes in his ears and wants a sinus culture to figure out why the poor baby always has a nasty nose.

He had an MRI done and it came back completely normal! Praise Jesus!

He saw his eye doctor again who said his exotropia has improved enough that he doesn't feel the eye surgery is necessary at this point, although there is no guarantee that he won't need it in the future. He is just going to watch him every 3 months until he feels 100% confident that things are in the clear (Lord willing!) and go from there.

I haven't heard back from Neurology on the laundry list of blood tests they did, which is great because they said that if everything was normal they wouldn't be calling. I assume things are great on that front, as well.

I should be getting a call any day from an in-home speech therapist, and Scooter's occupational therapy and physical therapy are scheduled. Who knew there was a 2 month waiting list for PT?! Same with genetics. He is scheduled to get in there, but not until July. I am told that it is awesome that the wait isn't longer on that one. Hmmmm.

Sooooo, here we are. We know a lot about what isn't going on, but not much more on what is going on. And I am ok with that. I know that God has Scooter in His hand and that there is a purpose for all of this that we just don't see yet. Hope that update didn't spark a snooze fest and that at the same time I kept the chronicle going. :) Now on to happier topics for my next posts!

Wordless Wednesday: The State of Our Pool :/

2011-03-23T19:03:00.000-04:00

Works For Me Wednesday: Saving Money on Clothes

2011-03-23T13:47:00.001-04:00

So I hear on a regular basis things like, "How do you make ends meet?" or "Your husband must make a lot of money with all those children!" or "You must be rich/broke/crazy!" I guess people have a hard time understanding in today's world where so much focus is put on material things how we can afford to have 6 children and still make sure they are fed and clothed and *gasp* happy.

One of the reasons we can do this is because we have taught our children that things do not make us happy. We can have peace and contentment without having a ton of toys and games, so we tend to buy less stuff. That's not to say that they don't drool over the latest and greatest new toys and gadgets, but they know that we only purchase those types of things at Christmas and birthdays. We strive to teach them to find joy in the things unseen or intangible, like time with one another or nature or in reading.

Another way that we can afford the children we have is by being frugal. We do this is numerous manners and it is really more of a way of life. We cut out extras that we don't need, like cable (BTW, have you sat down and watched the garbage on some of these kids shows lately?!?!). We do a lot of free activities, like parks, beaches, free museum days, etc. I coupon aggressively. We use hand-me-downs that have not seen their life worn out of them. And I shop at thrift stores.

Let me just say that I LOVE thrift stores. There are 2, sometimes 3, that I frequent in my area that are my favorites. True, there is a lot of junk in thrift stores, but there are also some awesome treasures to find, as well! The clothes that we do have to buy are (nearly) always on clearance or from thrift stores, and more often than not it is on half-price-Wednesday. Half-price-Wednesday is exactly what it sounds like~ clothes are half-off their ticketed price. I remember the day B figured out that thrift stores sold used items (duh!). He was 10, so it was only a little while ago. He said in disgust, "What?! You mean this stuff is used?!" as I was folding the just washed jeans I had bought earlier that day from the thrift store. I looked at him and said, "If you can pick out which of these jeans I bought new and which ones I bought used, I will never buy you used jeans from the thrift store again." Needless to say, we are still shopping at the thrift stores. ;)

So I figured I would share with you all my haul today, as it has been a while since I have been at the thrift store and also since I posted something ~~nondramatic~~ fun and useful. Plus I am busting at the seams because I found a couple items I was looking for specifically, and bread making items for the bread I just (kinda) learned how to make earlier this week. (I will post on that one later!)

So here is what I got and the breakdown:

Hat (for a play C-dub is in): $0.49
Skateboarding helmet: $2.99
Bread loaf pan: $0.99
Electric knife with 4 sharp blades (to cut my homemade bread!): $4.99
Trays for ~~I have no idea what~~ putting paint in when the kids do crafts: $0.69-$0.99 each
3 pairs of jean shorts: ~~$3.49~~ $1.75 (Lee)
~~$3.49~~ $1.75 (Mossimo)
~~$2.99~~ $1.50 (Faded Glory)
1 pair of jean pants: ~~$2.99~~ $1.50 (OTB)
Total paid: $21.30

Baby clothes-
Overalls: ~~$2.49~~ $1.25

One piece: ~~$1.99~~ $1.00

T-shirt: ~~$1.99~~ $1.00

Shorts: ~~$1.99~~ $1.00
Total paid: $4.25

Onesie: ~~$1.99~~ $1.00
Collared onesie: ~~$2.99~~ $1.50
One piece orange/blue: ~~$2.99~~ $1.50
Long john pj: ~~$0.99~~ $0.50
Long john pj: ~~$1.99~~ $1.00
Total Paid: $5.50

Nothing that I bought had any marks or stains on it, so I don't even have to fiddle with stain removal now that I have the items home. The amount I saved versus buying new-in-store items is ridiculous. :) Works for me!

Neurology and Questions

2011-03-15T09:28:00.001-04:00

Scooter went in for his Neurology consult this past week, which went well…I guess. I was hoping to go in and hear that all was well and we could go on our merry way, but I expected the more likely scenario which is what we actually got from the appointment. Long story short, we walked out with referrals for 3 therapists (physical, occupational, and speech), a referral to a geneticist, and a script with 4 pages of tests to be done via blood work (which translated to 9 vials of blood!). Scooter already has an MRI scheduled but she would have ordered that, as well, if it wasn’t.

Although I didn’t walk out without anything I didn’t expect, I was a little overwhelmed and daunted by the reality that there was definitely something going on with Scooter and that I had to accept all of this as a part of his life now.

I did get a good night’s sleep the night before, though, and I walked into that appointment with a peace unlike I have ever known in such an intimidating situation. I was riding on the wings of grace that God provides like no other. I am so thankful I didn't have to face that alone!

Which reminds me of another point...ok, no it didn't. I just remembered it, but whatever. We are in a really weird situation with Scooter in that we have to, as his parents, make medical decisions for him that are sometimes hard to make. What is the difference between him and every other sick kid at the hospital? Well, the predicament we find ourselves in is that he is the first with his condition to be treated at this (major) hospital, and even in the area surrounding us. So what's the dilemma? Well, how do we know what tests are needed and what tests are slipped in because of medical curiosity? Sound paranoid? I know, I feel that way myself more often than not. However, it is a very real fact that Scooter is an exception to the rule, a minority so rare that it is hard to know when someone with his disorder may walk through the door again, and an opportunity like this may never come around for them again since it is virtually unheard of to catch this particular disorder in a baby (most cases are discovered in adulthood or due to death). I have always taken for granted that I could trust the judgment of the doctors treating my children and defer to them when in doubt because I knew them well and they had high accolades. I knew they wouldn't put my children through unnecessary tests or procedures and I would ask enough educated questions and be so involved that they always shot straight from the hip with me. With Scooter, I know he is getting the best care there is for him, but a part of me wonders if all of the tests they order are necessary or if there is a bit of overkill because of the mysterious nature of his disorder. It sounds so over the top conspiracy theory to me, even as I type this out, but it is a very real situation that I find myself in with this child. Overall, I feel confident that there has been no breech of trust thus far and that although there are times when I see that gleam in a doctor's eye, all tests and procedures that have been ordered have been well warranted. It does put an interesting spin on an already unusual situation, though, and remind me as a parent to be diligent in the care and treatment Scooter receives. It also reminds me to count my blessings that he is in the best hands in the state, and at one of the top children's hospitals in the country. Hug your children a little tighter today, and know that we have so many things to be thankful for. What a blessing they are, and truly are His reward.

Not Me Monday: Cookies, Glue, and Co-op

2011-03-14T10:01:00.000-04:00

I did not make cookies only to realize that I did not have a holiday shaped cookie cutter to cut them with. In my pouting about having to have plain old round cookies rather than shaped cookies, my children did not suggest I use the Playdoh cutter to cut my cookies. I did not eagerly embrace the idea, and proceed to take my shaped cookies to serve to my friends at a fellowship meeting. Nope, that would be, well, gross.

My children did not ask me the other day (ok, the other week) why I am always doing all the cleaning and stuff. I did not allow the flesh to take over for a few minutes as I thought, "Yeah, why am I the one always doing all the cleaning?!" I did not then quickly realize that there is some retraining in order around here with all these able hands and bodies and mommy still doing a lot of the work!

I did not have such an overwhelming week last week that I waited until Thursday to plan class for co-op...you know, Thursday....the day before co-op, the day we had dinner plans with another family, the day I had a half-day long appointment for one of the kids. Yeah, I know better than to do that. Then once we were at co-op I did not manage to skip half of the plans we had for class and only end up with 2 activities that were still dripping with glue (due to poor planning) to go home with my kids.

I did not conveniently forget all of the other things I did not do and blame it on pregnancy brain....except this time I really did forget and it really is because of pregnancy brain. I do happen to remember this type of thing happening all week long, though!

Rhemastapp

2011-03-06T10:24:00.002-05:00

When I took Scooter in for his busted up lip I got a chance to talk to his nurse at the hematologist's office about the Rhemastapp(?) blood product/medicine that she has been fighting the insurance company on for months to get covered for Scooter. She informed me that we were in a catch 22 with it. The medicine (that is what they refer to it as, but it is actually a blood product stripped down to just the fibrin and is 99.9 % clean) is not FDA approved for dysfibrinogenemia, but it is for afibrinogenemia and hypofibrinogenemia. The reason it is not approved by the FDA for Scooter's condition is because they need 30 people to use the product in order to see if it works the way it was intended. Here comes the catch....there aren't 30 people to test this stuff on with this disorder. Remember this disorder affects 1 in 10-20 million people, only about 250-300 families in the world. Apparently the insurance company was refusing to cover the medicine because it wasn't FDA approved (and I am sure the exorbitant cost played a part, as well) yet we couldn't get the stupid stuff approved because we didn't have the test pool in the U.S. Talk about frustrating! So Scooter's nurse (have I ever said how much I love his medical staff?!) had a call in to the main rep with the drug manufacturing company ~~begging on her hands and knees~~ trying to pull strings to get a complimentary dose so we could have it on hand in case Scooter got hurt again.

Fast forward a week later, which was Scooter's regularly scheduled appointment for his check-in. His hema doc went into details on the Rhemastapp. She had personally talked with one of the doctors over at the drug company and it turns out that Scooter can NOT have that medicine for health reasons. Apparently, when given to the patients with afibro and hypofibro, one of the negative possible side effects was too much clotting. Now, both of those disorders are different in nature than dysfibro because they are low or no fibrin while dysfibro is malfunctioning fibrin. If we had given that medicine to Scooter he could clot in a really bad way, as he is already prone to clots with his disorder. Afibro and hypofibro do not deal with that problem.

Ahhhhhaaaa....so our Sovereign God reveals himself to me once again. This whole time as I was getting upset and frustrated that I had to fight for treatment for my son and all the while God was protecting me (and ultimately Scooter) from a treatment that could kill him. ::sigh:: Yes, I am humbled yet again. No, we don't have any better answers than before. We still have to use ~~dirty blood~~ cryoprecipitate when Scooter needs transfusions from injuries or surgeries. I know, I know, I am being melodramatic. It isn't really dirty blood. We were just so hopeful that Scooter could use this product that was so clean, so in comparison it feels like it is dirty. It is ok, though. We are remembering that we are soooo blessed to have caught this disorder to early and not to have learned of it after his circumcision and/or death, and we also have some of the best medical care in the county for him.

Garden

2011-03-05T10:33:00.000-05:00

We have been working on our garden for a while now...ok, Daddy has been working on the garden for a while now while me and the kiddos have been pitching in with weeding and a little planting here and there....occasionally....ok, once.

{Our not so thriving garden}

Anyway, you are missing the point. The garden has been rolling since mid-February and we are only having mild success. The cauliflower is getting eaten by, well, something. We will be picking up some Sevin this weekend to handle that, though I do wish we could go organic and avoid even the mildest of chemicals. I do know that we have to start small, though, and so I will compromise with what Daddy wants to do on this one.

{Half eaten cauliflower}

We were also wondering why nothing seemed to be growing. I mean, the onions were thriving and and so were the peas, but other than that it seemed things were going downhill fast. Turns out ~~Daddy was~~ we were over watering. Daddy was watering the garden daily, and in turn drowning the plants. Ok, lesson learned. We have backed off on the watering and things are starting to perk up a bit. :D Yeah, it worked!

{Beautiful onions}

{Sweet peas growing good}

The poor spinach we planted simply hasn't made it. I guess it wasn't as hearty as we thought and I think we will have to replant those.

Speaking of replanting, we are on our second round of cucumbers and the died again! We couldn't figure it out! We thought we had done everything right. We planted the seeds indoors and transplanted them once they were about 1 1/2" tall, and they promptly fell over and died. Pshhh. Well, it turns out that they are not supposed to grow up, they are supposed to creep on the ground. Soooo, we will be pulling those this weekend and replanting seeds outdoors rather than trying to transplant. The zucchini died, too, but we haven't figured out that one yet.

{The poor cucumbers never had a chance!}

{What is going on with the zucchini?!?!}

And oh the weeds!!! I cannot believe the amount of weeds that sprout up almost daily! There is certainly more work to be done, and we are definitely not pros yet, but it has been fun and we are learning a lot in the process.

You are kidding me, right?

2011-03-04T20:15:00.000-05:00

So you would think by now that I would have learned to not take Scooter into the doctor for a snotty nose. Nothing good ever comes of it. But noooo, I had to take him in. I mean, it is driving me nuts that his nose has not stopped for 3 months! Anyway, I still have no idea what is making Scooter's nose run like a wiener dog from a bath but that is neither here nor there. What I did walk out with was 2 more specialists and a script for an MRI. ::sigh::

Last week we determined that Scooter has developmental delays that require further investigation. From the initial evaluation it appears that we will have several different therapies that will help him to get on the path to catching up. When I updated the pediatrician she immediately ordered the MRI that all the doctors keep mentioning needing but have not ordered yet. The Early Intervention Team will order it, regardless, so this allows us to get a jumpstart on it and have more information faster. She also referred me to the Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor so we can pursue the issue of whether Scooter will need tubes in his ears and hopefully to get to the bottom of the snotty nose that just won't quit.

What she said next made me do a double take. She referred Scooter to a neurologist. I was a little confused by this and assured her we didn't need to do that, I was already taking Scooter to the Early Interventionist. Apparently, they would be referring me over to the neuro as part of their treatment/evaluation so, again, she wanted to get a jumpstart on what she knew they would be doing anyway. In hindsight I am thrilled to be able to get things going so quickly and efficiently, though at the time I felt more than a little alarm at the referral. Luckily, the neurologist can get Scooter in next week and we can begin the long process that leads to diagnosis.

I talked to the doctor a little more about the symptoms that led her to refer Scooter to the Early Intervention Team to begin with. This included primarily low muscle tone in various manifestations including slouching, drooling, tongue hanging out, and not holding his head up very well. I also had an opportunity this past week to watch Scooter play in a playarea with other children his age. Oy, did I see the differences in a stark way between where he is and where he should be. My eyes have really been opened to the fact that there are some serious delays that need immediate attention. I am so grateful that my pediatrician was so diligent and persistent with her recommendations of early intervention for Scooter.

It is going to be a lot (more) work and appointments, including therapy in home no less than once a week. But with a face like this, it is all so very worth it.

Happy (Belated) 6th Birthday, Smash!!!

2011-03-04T15:09:00.001-05:00

My how the time flies!!!

Works For Me Wednesday....er....Tuesday: Stains

2011-03-01T12:45:00.000-05:00

So with 6+ kids it is inevitable that there are going to be stains. I love Shout, which has saved us hundreds of dollars (over $1,000 worth in one instance, to be precise) when crayons went through the wash with our jeans, but there are times when Shout just isn't enough. There are also those times when I notice that my kids' clothes look dingy, and I really, really dislike seeing a child in dingy clothes. I would rather just pass the item on or trash it than to allow my kids to wear it. So what is a practical mother to do? I can't very well ditch every stained or dingy item of clothing we own. Over time I have come up with a method that works really well for us, and all it involves water, a 5 gallon bucket, and Oxiclean.

I started this on a smaller scale with making a pile of clothes that needed to be soaked in Oxiclean and once I got enough clothing in my pile I would soak them all in a small trash bucket. Now I have a more efficient and practical way to do it.

I have a 5 gallon bucket with a lid that I keep filled with water and Oxiclean. When I have something that is getting dingy or is stained, I throw it into the bucket and put the lid on. If the water is getting low, I add to it using hot tap water and a scoop of Oxiclean. 24 hours later (which is more time than needed but is usually when I am doing my next load of laundry), I remove the clothing from the bucket, squeezing the liquid back into the bucket and throwing the item directly into the washing machine. I keep the bucket next to the washer for ease of transfer and to avoid messes. I then replace the lid until next time, thereby avoiding wasting the Oxiclean that is left in the bucket and reusing it. I find that it is just as effective as using new Oxiclean each time and I am not pouring a ton of the stain remover down the drain, literally.

This has really saved us a lot of money, as I can take hand-me-downs that look like they are ready to be turned into rags and make them shine like they are new. I am also able to salvage whites from chocolate icecream and ketchup. In a family this size, that really adds up!

2 out of 3 ain't bad, if you ask me.

2011-02-24T09:32:00.000-05:00

So when I last left you we had 3 new issues with Scooter- 1.the possibility of tubes in his ears 2. an unknown (but suspected to be milk) food allergy and 3. a referral for suspected developmental delays.

Scooter got his blood drawn last week for the allergy test, I assume for the major allergens. I was thrilled and disappointed at the same time to learn that the results came back negative across the board. I mean, that seems kinda silly to say, but it is true. I was so relieved that there wasn't a milk allergy. I knew that would rock our world and mean major adjustments. However, that leaves us....well, I am not sure where. I am going to go in and meet with the pediatrician again (for various things) and we will go from there. I am sure Scooter will have to move on to the allergist to get to the bottom of this, which is no big deal really. I just hope that whatever is causing all the hulabaloo is something that is easy to manage, more for his sake than mine. Anyway, that is where we are on that front.

And then there is the appointment with the developmental delay person/ lady. I know, doesn't sound very official, but I don't know what else to call her. She came out to our house for the evaluation and asked a bunch of questions about Scooter. I thought I was acing the exam, and was tickled to be able to "show off" what Scooter could do. She played with him some with specific toys and activities that test for developmental milestones. I don't know if I am just in adamant denial or if it has been so long since I have had a baby that I forgot or maybe my brain just can't fathom this poor kid getting shafted yet again, but I really didn't see any big delays in Scooter. Well, I was set straight yesterday. The evaluator began to go over Scooter's scores and explain whether he qualified for the program or not. I should have known that something was amiss when she opened with, "Have you ever applied for SSI for Scooter?" She proceeded to review the results and as I was peeking at her sheet I was smug inside because he was in all the shaded areas on the left side of the paper, not in the white areas on the right. Ummmm, yeah, shouldn't have done that. The shaded areas were bad, not good. He was "at risk" for 2 of the gauges, and the rest he was in the worst zone (I have no idea what she called that area, but it was black so I am sure it has an ominous name). Long story short, he is going to need some help. He has an appointment in a couple weeks to investigate further, but she thinks that it all ties back to low muscle tone. Why he has low muscle tone is a whole nother can of worms that we will look into down the road. Interestingly, she pondered out loud if there is the possibility of his dysfibrinogenemia being the cause...I have heard that a few times lately and I would love to know why it keeps coming up, particularly since there is nothing recorded to indicate a link. Hmmmmm....

In hindsight I do see some issues with things that would indicate a problem, but I always chalked it up to his disposition or the fact that he has 5 brothers and sisters that cater to his every whim.

Then there are the ears. I had pushed the tubes in the ears off as just a vague better-safe-than-sorry scenario since Scooter hasn't had repetitive ear infections. The evaluator did say, however, that a child doesn't always have to have that happen to need tubes and that it could be needed for a variety of other reasons. :( BOO! I thought this one was a non-issue and haven't given it much thought. So no answers really on this one, but I do know that I need to see this one through and make sure that if he does need tubes we can do it at the same time as his eye surgery (assuming we move forward with that) so that he is only transfused once.

I know I have been blogging a lot about Scooter's health lately, which is half the purpose of my blog, but I promise we have been kinda sorta quasi homeschooling, too and I have a couple posts in the works regarding that, as well. :) Oh, and our garden! I can't wait to update you on ~~my husband's~~ our garden and the progress we are making on that.

Ummm, all this for a snotty nose?

2011-02-17T09:48:00.010-05:00

So Scooter - you know, our problem child ;) - got croup a couple weeks ago. Ever since he has had a runny nose, which in the beginning wasn't surprising because it is a symptom of croup. I started noticing that it wasn't resolving, though, and that at times it looked yellowish. So it was time to truck the little booger {snicker} in to the pediatrician.

Doc took a look and said that he had an ear infection, which was a huge surprise to me. I didn't suspect that at all, but I rolled with it. Then she mentioned the possibility of him needing tubes in his ears. EEK! This wouldn't be a big deal for most kids but obviously it is for Scooter. I thought it an odd comment since he doesn't have a history of repeated ear infections, but I trust my peds doc and know she wouldn't mention it without reason. The way I understand it she wants me to check with the hematologist to see if they would want to do the eye surgery (another big maybe at this point) at the same point as tubes or if they would rather do them separately. I got the impression she was wanting to make sure that we had our ducks in a row just in case.

Moving on, she looks in his nose and further examines him, at which point she informs me that his snotty nose is an allergy. Say what? I have been told repetitively that environmental allergies are virtually nonexistent in babies, so I was lost. Oh no, she tells me, she is referring to a food allergy. SAY WHAT?!?!?! Ugh! She suspects it is a milk allergy because of what he has been exposed to, but ordered the blood tests to try to get to the bottom of it. Mmmmhmmm. Snotty nose = food allergy. Nice. Didn't see that one coming.

Oh but we are not done yet, my friends. As I am checking out the ped doc declared out of the blue (which is unlike her- we usually discuss in depth) that Scooter needed to be evaluated for developmental delays immediately. She has mentioned this several times in the past and I have always brushed her off. I didn't this time and agreed to have him evaluated. Then I did something that I have never done. I bolted. I didn't ask questions or get clarification. I honestly have no idea what delays she even suspects! I know, I have a phone call to make to get up to date with the doc, but at the moment I had had enough! I mean, I brought the kid in for a snotty nose and there was talk of surgery, food allergies that will alter every day life, and then developmental issues?!?! Come ON!

It will all work out. God brought this little man into our lives for a very specific purpose and the kid is a trooper. But seriously, can the kid catch a break every once in a while?! :)

Baby go boom!

2011-02-16T15:11:00.000-05:00

So it happened. I knew it would, but I hoped to prolong it until he was maybe 10. ::sigh::

Scooter fell. He didn't fall hard, but the results were as if he did. He split his lip and frenulum as well as caught his lower teeth against the inside gum of his upper teeth. All this because of a gentle bump on a stool, my husband says. Luckily, he was in the room when it happened, although Scooter isn't ever unsupervised for this very reason so that isn't too impressive. Plus, it didn't make much of a difference that Daddy was there, because it still bled. A lot. I immediately called a friend who has a little boy with hemophilia, which is a close cousin of dysfibrinogenemia. She uses natural remedies and has avoided any transfusions on her 4 year old son thus far. I was hopeful that she could advise me on how to patch Scooter up good as new and we could move on with life and pretend this had never happened. Unfortunately, this incident happened around 9 pm as we were runing late to get the kids into bed, and my friend didn't answer the phone.

So plan B. We had already put an ice cube in a baggy and were allowing Scooter to suck on it, which was keeping him pacified for the moment. The bleeding wasn't stopping or slowing, though. Now, I am a mother of 6, so it wasn't my first rodeo and I know that face/head wounds like to bleed. A lot. Which is kinda the problem. I was torn on whether to freak out like a 3 year old high on Halloween candy or to just take it all in stride because I couldn't figure out if this amount of bleeding was normal or something to be concerned with. Rather, I chose to call the hematologist. :) That helped.

The hematologist asked several questions and deduced that we would need to watch him closely through the night and the no matter what he would need to be seen in the clinic the next morning. If he bled actively through the night we were to take him in to the ER for a transfusion of cryoprecipitate and if he only "oozed" through the night he may need a transfusion in the clinic in the morning.

I checked on him throughout the night, and he didn't sleep much regardless. I noticed pools of blood forming in his crib throughout the night, a little bigger than the size of a dollar bill. By the morning there were 3 of them. I wasn't freaking, but I was definitely not convinced things were ok.

Long story short, Scooter did not need a transfusion (thank you Jesus!) and the doctor we saw, which was not our routine hematologist but an associate who was just as awesome, gave us a script for Amicar for future bleeds. Seems like I should have had this and the natural remedies on hand before an instance like this, but you live and you learn. I know better now and will be ready the next time....and you know there will be a next time, unfortunately. I guess I had just held out hope that Scooter would somehow be asymptomatic. 40% of dysfibrinogenemia cases are asymptomatic, and although there was nothing to indicate that he was one of them, I liked the delusion I allowed myself to live behind. I won't do that anymore, and next time I will be armed and ready.

And the test results are in!!!

2011-02-09T15:47:00.000-05:00

So as you all know, this is our first official year homeschooling. I have run the gamut of emotions since September and I have spent more than one night in tears begging the Lord to allow my children to get a good education in spite of their teacher. I have paid good money for curriculum that I love, some that I hate, some I don't even use or don't know how to effectively use. I have second guessed myself a thousand times and felt like I was doing great in some areas while completely neglecting their formal education at the same time. We have had one curveball after another thrown at us since day 1, including but not limited to a severe infestation of lice, a brain bleed scare, a debilitating health issue with my husband, THE HOLIDAYS!!!!, and now 1st trimester woes. I have now walked a mile in those shoes, the shoes of the homeschooling parent and everything I feared is true.

It is hard. It is really, really hard. There is no cookie cutter way to do this thing, which is a blessing and a headache at the same time. Some days are so rough that you just want to quit. I knew all of this going into it. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, and it was made that much harder by the fact that I was following the Lord's ~~dragging~~ leading rather than my own passion. If you recall, I was not a homeschooler and my husband was of the same mindset. Homeschoolers were disadvantaged in so many ways, socially, practically, and functionally. We would never do that to our kids. Never. And then the Lord spoke. And I argued. Then I cried. I know my Father's voice. I also know He asks us to do those things that are far outside our comfort zone, and he then uses those experiences to help us grow. I took the matter to my husband, who was still unconvinced of the benefits of homeschooling (as was I), but who loving trusted that if the Lord was dealing with me then he was not going to be the one to stand in between that.

And so we hesitantly began, and now here we are. Today C-dub got tested for the first time for his annual evaluation that needs to be turned into the school board. That is all our county requires- testing by a certified evaluator (i.e. board certified teacher) and that the paperwork be submitted saying that your child is progressing. Of course, if your child is not then it gets more complicated, but that is a whole different story.

I won't lie, I was a little nervous. I mean, isn't the evaluation a direct reflection of my success as a teacher? If he fails, doesn't it really mean that I failed him? It wasn't really a self-centered concern...I didn't care if I failed for my own sake or out of pride. I just didn't want to fail my children. I gave it to God and got a solid night sleep last night. Now, C-dub is our prodigy. He is an exception to every rule. He skipped a grade in our public schools where they no longer skip grades and could have easily (academically) skipped several more. He read To Kill A Mockingbird in 2nd grade....for fun. He loves a good debate and exploring the harder questions in life and theology. He could make a slug look like an ace teacher, so my concerns weren't valid to being with.

So back to the point. C-dub impressed the evaluator with his testing, which again wasn't surprising to me. However, I was floored to hear that he maxed out the test. What I mean to say is that he aced it....literally. His test scores read:

Mathematics- Above 12.9
Reading Recognition- Above 12.9
Reading Comprehension- Above 12.8
Spelling- Above 12.9

Translated, that means that he tested above the highest scores you can get, above a 12th grade level. Wow! Can I just say God is so good?! I take no credit, none at all. I truly believe that the Lord has rewarded both C-dub and I for being faithful in our endeavor, even when it was really, really hard. I am so thankful that C-dub was my first to be tested (he was the first to be pulled out of public school, so his anniversary was the soonest). I know the Lord deliberately laid all of this out so that I would gain confidence in the journey He has called us to. I know the other children will likely not test so ridiculously high, and I am ok with that. But I also know that the Lord has equipped me in every way to be their teacher and to succeed doing it. Glory be to God!

That garden thingy

2011-02-07T15:58:00.000-05:00

So I meant to get this up last week, but alas, this morning sickness is winning the tug-of-war with my body.

Daddy has really gotten excited and into this whole gardening thing and kinda taken over, which is really good for me right now because of the above mentioned struggle I have been having. Our little seeds that Daddy planted in the pods really took off at a crazy pace and we quickly needed to transplant them. However, our FL weather has been the predictably unpredictable weather that we always have this time of year and we weren't able to get the seedlings in the ground as quick as we would like. That wouldn't be that big of a deal except that our cucumbers got so tall so quick without the necessary support they need that I am not sure that they are going to make it. They still look healthy at the leaves, but it looks like someone stretched them at the base of the stem. We will see. The good part of that is that they are pickler cucumbers that acted up, so if we don't make out with them I won't cry. I haven't even learned how to can them yet, so I may be doing myself a favor! We can always replant those, as well, since we have a lot of seeds left.

{can you see the sprouts bending from hitting the top?}

{everything is growing beautifully}

{too tall to fit into the greenhouse!}

This past weekend Daddy got the rest of our seedlings int he ground. The only thing we are waiting to plant is the bell pepper plants because they are just now sprouting. Those should be going into the ground in the next week or so, I hope.

Now we have to wait and see what happens. We are watering and tending, but there has been windy weather and some cold weather (at least cold for FL!). Some things are beyond our control and we will have to see what comes of it. Most of our little plants are leaning northward from the wind, but still look healthy. The kids have been deeply involved in planting with Daddy and are stoked to see what their hard work yields. I pray over my garden regularly, so I know the Lord will bless it in the way that He sees fit!

2011-02-07T15:06:00.000-05:00

Happy 7th Birthday, LiviLou!

You call that a garden?

2011-02-01T11:49:00.000-05:00

So we did it! We got the ground cleared, the soil tilled with composted manure, and a family full of eager beavers wanting to plant our veggies. This past weekend we broke down because ~~daddy~~ the kids couldn't wait another minute to get our garden growing. Despite the fact that it is still a little chilly here in FL, it was time to give in and purchase our seedlings and seeds. So we loaded up the crew and headed down to Home Depot. The goal has been partly to save money on food with this garden, so as we started sizing up the plants and seeing the cost of some of the seedlings we quickly decided to buy several seed packets, as well, and cut down the number of seedlings we bought.

So here is what our garden started as:

I know it looks pretty raggedy, but I assure you that the soil is rich and well fertilized. Once we got our plants we were on to the planning stage of the garden. I know, I know. We should have done this step first, but we have been a red hot mess the last few weeks and our brains, even put together, are not working very well. Daddy measured and I plotted our quaint little garden and where everything would be planted according to the specifications needed for each item.

Then we got to planting. We bought a bunch of onion bulbs to plant, and although it says it makes for 60 plants we *only* planted about 48. The rest Smash eagerly scooped up and planted in little planters herself. I had an obligation that required me to leave mid-planting, so Daddy finished up what he could with the daylight that was left, which was the broccoli seedlings. We still have to get the jalapeno bush in the ground as well as the cauliflower and some of the bell peppers. I will get a picture of that up once they are all planted.

We also started our seeds indoors. This was supposed to be a "we" kinda project, but in the end Daddy got ambitious and did it himself. Ok, truth be told he started it while the kids were still awake (against my advice, might I add) and by the time the kids went to sleep my nausea was so bad I was worthless. He is such a trooper! These little pods are so cool! We are all watching them hoping to catch the first sprout.

B was having a hard time just watching Daddy work, so he decided to start planting more bell pepper plants on his own. Did I mention yet that we already have 32 pepper plant sprouts? Uh, yeah. At least we know B will be a huge helper to his wife. The kid has skills!

Daddy even made little signs for each of the types of seeds he planted. I was impressed!

Tonight we should get the last of the seedlings in the ground and now we just have to water and wait on our miniature greenhouse to do its thing so we can get those babies planted, too. I am so excited!

Oh, and did I mention that Daddy is coming around on the idea of getting chickens? Yeah, but that is a different post. ;)

Everything is totally under control

2011-01-29T22:22:00.000-05:00

My homeschool has not fallen apart the last few weeks amid fevers, tissues, and vomiting. No way. We have kept it all together and our school room definitely does NOT look like this right now.

That is not food on the girls' school desk because we only have food in the kitchen and dining room,

The homeschool table is not covered with my unfiled coupons,

and that is certainly not 2 large laundry baskets full of papers to be filed.

::sigh::

Ok, it is. But we really have been sick, or at least the kids have. Well, we all have. Except Daddy. He is fine. The kids have been taking turns battling different viruses that have been a bucket of fun, and I have been battling nonstop nausea with occasional bouts of vomiting...for 3 weeks. No, I am not worried and no I am not rushing into the doctor to get a flu swab. I know what is wrong with me, or rather what is right. :) If you haven't figured it out by now (or already know because you have an inside connection!), we are pregnant! We will be welcoming our 7th (8th) child in mid-September. So seeing that we are obviously already a little derailed, any advice on homeschooling through morning sickness and 1st trimester exhaustion is appreciated!

Halfway mark: What I have learned - Everything Else

2011-01-26T11:00:00.000-05:00

So here I am, joyously planning the second half of the 2010-2011 and reflecting on what I have learned so far. Oh who am I kidding? I am reflecting on the last 4 months and frantically planning the second half of the year because I feel like I dropped the ball the first half of the school year! Ok, it isn't really all that bad, but I am making some major changes. So what have I learned?

I really need to lesson plan more. I mean, like the formal-written-down kind of lesson planning, not the we-are-gonna-do-these-3-subjects-today kind of lesson planning. I always know what subjects we are going to study for any given day (at least I know no later than the night before HA!) and I have a general idea of what we are going to study in each of those subjects (which generally sounds something like "we will do the next chapter"). Yeah, I leave a lot to be desired in this area...which leads me to the next thing I have learned...

I hate lesson planning. I mean I really really do not like it. I have discovered it isn't lesson planning in general, but the subjects that I teach together, such as Tapestry of Grace, yeah, those stink. I am not doing very good with it. It isn't the teaching at multi-levels that gets me, it really is the planning. It isn't that I haven't tried, because I have. I have tried several different methods, none of which worked. I tried the time slot method where every half-hour was planned out, like you would in a traditional classroom. We never could fit our day into those pretty little time slots, especially with a baby whose schedule seemed to dictate everything we did (or didn't do). It was also difficult trying to use this method with all the doctor's appointments that are a part of our life. I tried the fly by the seat of your pants method. Yeah, that definitely didn't work. I tried the checklist method where I wrote down what we needed to accomplish for that day and we went from A to B to C until the list was done. This is the method I still lean toward loosely, but it still seems there are more days than not where our list is not completed, no matter how long or short I make it. I am not too sure how I am going to fix this dilemma yet, but I do know something has to change.
***UPDATE: I just printed these planning sheets out for our kids from mama-jenn.blogspot.com and I am kinda digging them. The kids can understand what is expected of them and the older kids can work on what they want in whichever order they want so long as everything gets done. Only time will tell, though...

Speaking of lesson planning, I have come to tentatively conclude that I may have been too ambitious in the number of subjects I planned to teach the children. Either there are too many subjects or I am not planning them right, or a combination of the two problems. We already discussed the nightmare lesson planning, so I am just not sure on this one. A part of me wants to say that if I can plan better then I can fit everything in that I want for the kids, more so the older 2 than anything. The older 2 can work more independently, so maybe I just planned too ambitiously for Snake? I don't know yet. This is definitely an issue I am keeping in prayer.

Socialization is not nearly as big of an issue as I thought it would be. In fact, I had the kids so involved in various activities, a lot of them for the sole purpose of socialization, that we had to really scale back in order to get our schoolwork done and maintain our sanity! We were literally running somewhere at least 6 days a week once you consider church, sometimes more than once a day. Homeschooling today is not the same as it was when I was growing up some 20 years ago. Homeschooled children aren't automatically "weird" and they don't stick out like sore thumbs the way I remember when I was a kid. Sure, there are various different types of children within the homeschooling community, but it is very similar to those who attend school. What I am trying to say is that the socialization issue, well, it just isn't an issue. It took me a few frantic months to to figure that out, but now I feel such a peace about it that is so reassuring. This was one of the main reasons we initially didn't want to homeschool our children and now it is a non-issue.

Speaking of socializing, I have learned that you have to be selective with who you surround yourself and your children with. This seems like an obvious one, but I had to learn the hard way that just because there are families within the homeschool community that attend church, well, that doesn't guarantee that their values and standards are in line with where ours are. I know that sounds harsh, and I really cannot think of a different way to say it, but the diversity within the Christian homeschooling community is very real and very widespread. Not everyone is as disciplined with their children or holds their children to the same standards or is willing to forgo all else (yes, even at the sake of leaving the event *GASP*) to ensure that a child's heart is being trained properly. I guess I thought everyone would be diligent in the same areas I find important. So, we have adapted and are very selective with who we hang with in our spare time, period. Simple fix, but it definitely hit me hard to realize this.

So this is where I am with the "everything else" category. Homeschool life is definitely a lot different in a lot of ways than what I was expecting. Some is better than I thought, some is disappointing. I knew this adventure would be hard, but I never knew how much I would grow in the process!

Do you hear that?

2011-01-26T10:45:00.000-05:00

Yeah, me neither. I have to apologize for the sudden and extended silence around here. Our house has been battling one viral attack after another, the last of which had us seriously concerned for Scooter's health. His disorder throws all kinds of kinks into the mix because routine tests are not so routine for him.

::sigh::

Scooter is now out of the woods, praise the Lord, but now Snake is coming down with a flu bug he caught over the weekend.

So please forgive me for my absence, and I will try to pop in and out again soon.

Special Needs Symptoms: Early Onset Bipolar Disorder- Part 3

2011-01-16T13:44:00.016-05:00

So we had a diagnosis, which was good. I can handle anything as long as I know what we are dealing with. However, the diagnosis was no laughing matter. There is no way that I have come across to treat bipolar disorder in children without medication. I was distressed about this because this was the last thing we wanted for our child. We knew, however, that not medicating Snake was like denying a diabetic insulin. I couldn't do it.

Snake started seeing a therapist (the psychologist) weekly and a psychiatrist regularly for medication. The psychiatrist (we call her the meds doctor) initially put him on Ritalin. Apparently bipolar disorder can be very tricky to diagnosis in children and is usually misdiagnosed as ADHD, ODD, CD, or something else. One of the methods they know how to employ to diagnose it is to give the child ADHD meds, particularly stimulants. If the stimulants make the behavior worse, it helps confirm the bipolar diagnosis. If it helps, they doctor's reevaluate and see if bipolar is still an option. Process of elimination, basically. Well let me tell ya, he was off.the.chain. It was a nightmare. He was manic all the time. Pretty quickly after that they started him on Adderall instead of the Ritalin. Again, this was required to diagnose the bipolar disorder. Same thing happened. Horrible. So now we were all fairly confident of the diagnosis, although we were all pretty secure in it before we even tried medicine of any sort. The meds doctor then prescribed Risperdal. {ahhhhhh} Finally something that worked! The extremes started to level out, some of the distinctive bipolar symptoms began to fade. Working with his therapist and honing coping skills was an essential part of his treatment. We have always tried to keep medicines to a minimum, but over time as his metabolism and chemical makeup changed we have had to increase doses and add meds to control the symptoms. We try to give him only as much as he needs to function. We do not want to lose sight of who he is or dope him into oblivion, nor do we want to limit his medications to where we are being negligent and doing him a disservice by denying him the quality of life he deserves.

His meds have changed over the years. He currently takes Risperdal (an antipsychotic bipolar med-he cannot function at this point without it), Straterra (a non-stimulant ADHD med), and Intuniv (another non-stimulant ADHD med). In the right doses he does really well, though he is nowhere near the independence other 9 year olds are. We have to work harder and longer to accomplish schoolwork and training in relatively simple tasks (e.g. loading the dishwasher). We have to watch him carefully and cannot allow him unsupervised for more than about 10 minutes at a time if he is outside. Safety is a constant concern because his focus, attention, and judgment simple isn't there.

It isn't easy, but the Lord blessed us with this special (not just special needs) child and we love him dearly. His disorder does not define him, and we refuse to let it. We do not hide that he suffers from bipolar. Quite the contrary. We share the fact often and encourage people to see it for what it is rather than a stigma that makes those who have it feel ashamed. Snake is our silly, generous, loving, thoughtful, playful child and I adore every minute we are privileged to have as his parents.

If you have any questions, ask away. I know I was terrified when I was looking for answers and it seemed like the support was simply not out there. Even when we had a diagnosis it seemed like we were all alone. So I encourage you to communicate and know that you do not have to fight this battle yourself!

Special Needs Symptoms: Early Onset Bipolar Disorder- Part 2

2011-01-15T16:16:00.000-05:00

So I had an appointment. At this point Daddy and I were adamantly against medicating children except under the most extreme of circumstances. ADHD was at an all time high as a diagnosis and I was never on the medication train.

The first counselor we met with diagnosed Snake the first visit with ODD, or Oppositional Defiant Disorder. She recommended a medication that Daddy and I said no to before even discussing with one another. ODD just didn't even sound like our Snake. We were told that medication was likely going to be required, which at that time was the worst thing she could have told us. We left and never went back.

I Googled ODD and knew right away that Snake was not dealing with ODD. I immediately looked to the only other provider covered under Snake's insurance, but drug my feet making an appointment. I still had a bad taste in my mouth from the last lady.

In the mean time we were starting to see some of the symptoms that were described at school. Nothing nearly as severe as they described, but definitely consistent. I was starting to wonder.

The more I Googled the more I realized that I kept coming back to the bipolar disorder description. Unfortunately, a lot of the symptoms from that time frame are just fuzzy memories to me because we don't deal with them anymore. Some of his symptoms we didn't even realize were indicative of bipolar until later on down the road.

Here are the symptoms I do remember, though they are not necessarily the ones that presented in the beginning:
-extreme highs and lows. It was either laughing hysterically and bouncing off the walls or wailing at the top of his lungs.
-holding his bowels. There were a lot of accidents long after he was potty trained and would be to the point of dangerous for his health. Imagine 3 or 4 large softball or grapefruit size BMs in one bathroom trip. It was horrible for him.
-nervous tics. I don't know what they call these, but I call them tics. They are repetitive motions or actions. Sometimes it is twisting his hair over and over, sometimes it is twitching his fingers like he is playing a piano. No matter how the tic manifests, there is always one present. If we manage to get him to stop with the hair, he starts with the fingers.
-inappropriate responses emotionally. Laughing and giggling while being disciplined. This is clearly not something he can control and he even says, "I'm trying!" when he is doing it.
-aggressive thoughts and actions. This was mostly thoughts and dreams/nightmares, rarely was there ever any action taken on them.
-sexually aggressive thoughts and actions. This was mainly in the beginning, but we are always cautious on this one because symptoms can come and go and fluctuate throughout their lives.
-restlessness/fidgety- he struggled to stay still and focus...ever.
-reduced need for sleep- he could live on the smallest amounts of sleep. I could never get him to sleep long stretches and no matter how late he would go to bed he was always up by 6 am the next day.
-highs and lows physically. He would be racing a thousand miles an hour and then you would find him crashed hard core somewhere odd. He literally would fall asleep wherever he landed and was still for more than a few minutes.
-bossiness. He had to be in control. Period.
-poor judgment, particularly in situations where safety was a factor.
-inability to follow instructions completely.

There are also some symptoms that are probably associated with the bipolar disorder but are not conclusively connected. These include:
-high metabolism. The kid can eat 3rds on a man size portion of food and never gain weight.
-severe separation anxiety. I couldn't leave the house without him knowing where I was going and when I would be back.
-sensory issues. He would wear his shoes with his tongue shoved down into them so his toes were in a position that should have been terribly uncomfortable, but they weren't. He didn't even notice. He would wear winter clothes in summer and summer clothes in winter, to the extreme.
-delayed fine motor skills. Cutting and writing were really hard to master.

So you get the picture of what we were dealing with. Many if not all of these symptoms still surface from time to time, some more than others. Some are virtually nonexistent as long as his medications are correct.

So back to the story...

So I had called in a second opinion. Initially the social worker who met with him said CD, or conduct disorder. I had done enough research at this point to know what that was and that that was definitely not what we were dealing with. She then jumped to ADHD. I definitely knew that wasn't the issue. I asked for a new evaluator and this time got a psychologist who was really good. Snake was tentatively diagnosed with early onset (pediatric) bipolar disorder NOS (not otherwise specified), ADD (attention deficit disorder), and PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). Bipolar and ADD often are comorbid, or go hand in hand. The PSTD came in because the symptoms began shortly after we had been in a severe car accident where we were t-boned by a drunk driver. I cannot remember now the symptoms that led her to that diagnosis, but he no longer deals with that at all.

So here we were. A diagnosis, finally, but no clue how to deal with it.

To Be Continued...